General Congratulations

[MajorRT]

Congrats to Fruitcake for the bi-weekly CC summaries...a tidy summary of forum propaganda and innuendo, an enjoyable read. You should become a novelist, or at least write for page six of the New York Post!

[Dancing Mustard]

rearrange the following:

petard your hoisted own by.

Congratulations to Audax for making a completely inane comment, but not being ashamed of it.

Congratulations also to all those who have managed to ban themselves from ever posting in C&A again, so as not to get banned for trolling.

[Fruitcake]

So another week has passed again, and what has happened apart from the planet hurtling unstoppably to the longest day in the northern hemisphere and the shortest in the southern?

Well it seems that the lull regarding our fav subject ‘snobbery’ was just that, for it has reared its mighty head this week like Arnie Schwarz in Conan brushing off those meaningless enemies….but more of that later.

First up we return to that slugfest feud between those two heavyweights…yes you got it… our fav. anti hero JR and solo man. Down in the cheating and abuse reports, these two just keep punching. Yours truly would have retired to some decent Port and Cigars a while back, but these two just don’t give up! With over 2700 viewings between the two opposing threads this is truly spectator sport at its best. Yours truly even popped in to ask our oggy (that fallen Brig) for detail on the post accusing JR of being a cheater, but to date the silence has been deafening in oggys riposte. So what could become a weekly congrats to those 2 sluggers. The blood keeps coming, and boy do I enjoy it!

Meanwhile, in the same area, Frop has been on the trail of a previously busted multi. Originally exposed by an old adversary of mine Big Yuma Ripper, it looks like Mystique isn’t quite that mystical…got to do better than that misty!! This surely has to get a congrats for the most obvious multi around (does that mean the mosht shtoopid as well? ed)

In the interim, back in the bright lights of GD, all manner of things were a happening this week. That suave sophisticat and friend to all, ol’ Codebluey, managed to add to the list of his ‘special’ friends this week. Casting off his normally demure approach, he decided to upset a usually quiet poster in blackmages. What a to do this was. Yours truly had a gander at the game…and a chortle I can tell you. Our bluenose was in tip top form, raging until his blue blood turned purple with fury!! I have some pills you may want old chap, they do wonders for keeping the blood vessels intact. While on the thread, another old fav with this writer, Lumpy, got in on the act with a sweet post…ironic congrats of the week there Lumpy!!

But, let’s take a gander at the ‘snobbery count’ this week.

Well dear reader, this hit an all time high over the last 7 days. With contributions to threads about overrated top players, elite players, low ranked players, in fact the lot! I personally liked the ‘elite players’ thread, showed some seriously tactful snobbery at its best. Started by pimphawks, the postings came thick and fast, with JR (wot ‘im again….ed) posting a real sly one….let it lie JR, that discussion is surely deceased for now. That Conquerer of the confusing argument, DiM, stepped in with some mighty posts that got me reaching for the Port…then Timminz stepped in with a right pearler…you bad man Timminz, that was right below the solar plexus…but I enjoyed it. MeDeFe (or medium density fibreboard as I imagine him) strode in with a truly wonderful post that surely has to make the running for the snobbery congrats of the week, explaining that the top 1% was the real elite….I suppose that would include you eh old chap!

Other interesting stuff this week included a quite bizarre thread from General K. In this, he kicked off throwing a punch to the mods, only for the hidden target, Pedronicus, to throw a serious right hook that landed bang on target. Wachicha stepped in with some words I had difficulty keeping up with (…well I was 2 bottles of Port worse for wear) but they made me think I was out on the prairies for a moment. However, GK waded right back in and lashed out at all and sundry (I use the word lash advisedly….geddit)….this then started to get interesting. Reaching for yet another bottle of the Vintage stuff, I read on….it got bloodier until our fav mod ‘wicked’ stepped in, trying to control a howling mob (you should know better wicked, it was beyond the point of control already) …finally pedronicus answered in a sonorous tone and put GK out of his misery.

And lastly a couple of quick congrats:

First to our Brucie (bruceswar to those lower orders who don’t sup in the hoccifers lounge) for his statement

I think people here are missing a lot of the point to this post. Code is an intense player who likes to win. All he ask for is a fair game for all, even if he loses.

Nice one Brucie old chap…got to win the congrats for the understatement of the week.

Finally a wonderful nugget from icedagger

Anyone noticed how those low-rank types always seem to lose their points to high-rankers, typically in freestyle games? I'm tired of this low rank elitism. In my opinion, you're not a real cook unless you are equally bad at each game type. Sure I'd love to be a low rank as much as the next guy, but I refuse to specialise at being particularly bad at any game type....

Until this low-rank elitism stops, average losers like me can only slip down the board slowly. This is clearly unfair, and something should be done.

Quite right too Ice!!!

[Timminz]

…you bad man Timminz, that was right below the solar plexus…but I enjoyed it.

On that note, I'd like to congratulate DiM, for taking my tongue-in-cheek, low blow so well.

[owenshooter]

On that note, I'd like to congratulate DiM, for taking my tongue-in-cheek, low blow so well.

i would like to congratulate timminz for embracing his sexuality...-0

[Timminz]

On that note, I'd like to congratulate DiM, for taking my tongue-in-cheek, low blow so well.

i would like to congratulate timminz for embracing his sexuality...-0

It took me a while, but I finally came to grips with my heterosexuality. My parents are still having trouble understanding, but I think they'll come around eventually.

[Sentinel XIV]

On that note, I'd like to congratulate DiM, for taking my tongue-in-cheek, low blow so well.

i would like to congratulate timminz for embracing his sexuality...-0

It took me a while, but I finally came to grips with my heterosexuality. My parents are still having trouble understanding, but I think they'll come around eventually.

Did they try to take your toys away when you were a youngster. I hear punishment works when you're confused.

I'd like to congratulate myself for losing two and fifty points yesterday. Never again with the three-player game.

[Timminz]

On that note, I'd like to congratulate DiM, for taking my tongue-in-cheek, low blow so well.

i would like to congratulate timminz for embracing his sexuality...-0

It took me a while, but I finally came to grips with my heterosexuality. My parents are still having trouble understanding, but I think they'll come around eventually.

Did they try to take your toys away when you were a youngster. I hear punishment works when you're confused.

Everything but the dolls.

[Sentinel XIV]

Really quickly, I'd like to congratulate myself for finally beating Feudal War by holding all of the castles.

Go me!!!

I know... no biggie, right? Well, it is for me, you pompous bastards!

[Fruitcake]

Another week passes, and it has occurred to me that a full 7 days had gone by since I last wrote about the world of the conkies.

Wandering through the sections of the forum a question came to me, but for the life of me, I cannot remember what it was…so, instead, here is a little round up of some snippets and interesting things I found while on my wanderings.

Early in the week the main mover and shaker of the site, Lack, flicked the wrong switch. The site temporarily went into the ether…the return caused the first suck up post of the week that I saw. In that thread my clansman Vace couldn’t resist a planting a quick smacker of a kiss on the powers that be…congrats to you Vace some nice smooching there. But this wasn’t the end of it, this was but the beginning. I then noticed Karel, a member of low posting had moved in on none other than the mighty Twills thread, planting some pursed lips tight on the chops of the mods! This was starting to turn into a kissathon and yours truly was starting to get a tad worried… the kissing and smooching continued apace. Detlef (another clansman…whatever is happening to the BpBs????) stepped in for a quick smooch on wicked in the MODS ARE GOING MAD thread, then to finish the week a thread appeared with a full on snog going by White moose to the moderators!!! Crikey, where had all the robust action gone? It’s like having ones sultry and temperamental Mediterranean mistress (you know the type, she don’t argue, she just smashes the place up!) turn into the fawning babe who rings you at work to ask what you want for dinner! Gimme the smasher babe any day…but just to show I can be a good old stick when I want…here’s a big smacker on the lips to all you mods…(especially that sweetie clapper)

So what else did I notice….well down in the darker world of Cheating and Abuse, it’s a world gone mad I tell you!!! With around 35 accusations and many more older actions back on the radar it seems cheating, multis, illicit alliances and goodness knows what else is rife in the camp. Whatever are we to think dear reader???? It has even got so bad, the posters can’t even be bothered to put the names anymore with one thread titled: "some more (maybe) multis"...this virulent spread even started infecting the GD, with the shocking news I read that a player who left that wise man wacicha a neg had been busted…whatever next???? (hey wacicha…do spill the beans and put us out of our misery….who was it??? My money is on destination…he who doesn’t exist anymore) Before we know it dear reader, we will have senior rankers being found guilty!! (perish the thought eh)…however, in all these shennagins a great little post from that fav. of this thread Codeblue who posted

I must say, I am shocked about Jan. I wouldn't have expected this. Too bad!

Nice one bluey, real tough congrats there.

My fav thread of the week just has to be “Telling others when to take turns” started by none other than owenshooter. Now this has proven to be a seriously good read. What started as a typical owen mini rant descended quickly into farce. Some real cute posts appeared…so to really make my week complete I am writing one of my thread skits following this piece, just for you dear reader.

But where is the usual weekly refrence to the snobbery count I hear you ask….well yours truly had to wait this week, then a real pearl appeared with the thread “1/2 of the Top 15 players on CC's Scoreboard,where are they?” This post just has to get the quote congrats of the week.

congrats for top 15 MOBA!

(surely the real reason for the thread )

You little tinker Benji, had me chortling into my cups.

[Fruitcake]

The complaint (part 1)

The scene, a hot day and a cool bar. the Door swings open, in steps owen, (him of the sly wit and in a mean frame of mind).

“Some people have no bloody patience, I just had the guy in the car behind me pop his horn because I hadn’t moved forward 6 feet as the queue was moving….can you believe it???”

Optimus pulled his titanic G string a tad “If they do that to me mate, I give them the finger”

Kaplowitz, pulling his cap down in case his wife comes in, “ I had someone do that constantly the whole way home…it was my wife!"

Owen, looking askance as Optimus’s hand wraps itself around his beer glass, wondering whether he has noticed he has a whale tail showing, “I gave him the finger…and a load of abuse, he got all defensive telling me to ‘chill out’…jeeze”

Jnd, sitting at his normal place at the end of the bar, chips in “ I usually find it happens with the newly passed drivers, no godamned patience, they won’t just wait will they….”

Jbtrettlib, sitting himself back on the barstool he just slid off, “Just phone me..hic…, I’ll jump in and carry on…hic…, that’ll really piss them off….just watch out for that serious Policeman Twiddle…hic…wandering around at the moment, he’s on my case…hic”

Owen “hey, just received a text from Robinette, telling me to move my car...she must have been in the jam”

Timminz, who slaps tickets on cars when they are in a jam for not moving on, just nods his head from side to side tutting, then downs his beer with a swift single gulp, much to the amazement of everyone, they never knew he had it in him.

MeDeFe, slumming it from the hoccifers club, supping his JD and soda “My blasted driver sometimes falls asleep at the wheel in these jams, mind you I don’t let him have the aircon on in his section of the car”

Whitestanz says in loud voice from the other end of the bar “Hey Optimus, I have some cream for that if you need it” then slinks back into his glass as everyone turns to look at him.

Owen “wow, another text, that guy has got to be in here somewhere, he’s having a pop at me for telling you all about it, and making out I shouldn’t be building it into such a big deal” (everyone looks around for who it could be)

Sentinal sitting with his latest blond babe and feeling cool “Hey, owen, why didn’t you just move man”

Fingers (called thus for his reputation for taking fingers from those who don’t pay his Boss back) “Just tell him you’ll go when you wanna go man, failing that, just snap his fingers” (the rest look at each other…they know fingers isn’t to be trifled with)

Happy2seeyou, feeling uncomfortable as the handcuffs were REALLY tight last night, “I had that from some guy, just made him wait even longer, told him to go and buy a car with aircon and not be such a tightass”

(MeDeFe nods wisely)

Owen “Well I missed the lights turning anyway”

Vace, unscrewing his wooden leg, much to the discomfort of those nearby as he normally falls over when he does this, “Like, you sayin’ he’s apologised owen?” (the squeaking stops as the leg falls to the floor)

“well he’s just sent me another text, take a look at this abuse man, and now he’s reported me for driving without due care!”

Happy2seeyou “ Ha! I know who that is”

Paradice City (coming out of the gloom at the back of the bar) “yeah, it was me, I did apologise, but mr clever here didn’t tell you that did he (poking his tongue out at owen), I was in a bit of a hurry, and wanted to get thru the lights, that’s all. Owens really overeacting about this”

Happy2seeyou, rubbing wrists, hoping no one will notice, “Ha, they didn’t know it was you until now”

Optimus, wondering about that cream, claps his hands

[Fruitcake]

The comlaint (part 2)

Wacicha, sipping his intoxicating herbal brew, “I have had worse when I haven’t moved in a jam”

ParadiceCity looking, and noticing the chafed wrists on H2SY “ whadda you mean, they didn’t know?” continuing “yeah, and like, it’s total bull about him just missing the lights, he did that deliberately”

Owen feeling this is swinging his way ” yeah, and you phoned Twiddle to report me! How do you know what I was doing?” owen swigs from his glass to stop the smirk showing too much, then continues “and anyway, what do you know about the highway code?” “Did it really cause you too much bad by missing the lights? And don’t call me a faggot!”

Paradice City “Jeeze, I just said you deliberately held up the traffic, you just sat there whistling for christs sake…and I text you to say let’s forget it.”

Owen, now feeling even more confident” you know nothing man, you overeacted, and you got nowehere, Twiddle sure ain’t gonna let your complaint stand”

Paradice City “ First off you should learn to indicate, you talk shit man, did you get past high school?”

Everyone lowers their conversations, this is getting interesting.

Owen “Coming from you that’s rich pal, you overreact, then you abuse, then you abuse more, I have a clean record on the road which you have tried to varnish ("shorely shome mishtake" says jbtrett from the end of the bar) come back when you’ve mastered the art of argument PAL”

slayerQC the town hippy, feeling Paradice needs some kind of support “owen, you kinda made it obvious man, but you’re both overreacting….man, just stay cool…man”

owen “ piss off, you don’t know what you are saying”

Paradice “well maybe I don’t care, and for the record I was really really good at school so there”

Everyone swigs hastily from their glasses, smothering their chortles

Slayer, not about to be put off “ you sure man, it don’t look like that to me”

Paradice “yeah….so there, now where was I, oh yeah, I apologised didn’t I?””

Slayer “wow man, this is heavy dude, I’m confused”

Paradice “Well I’m gonna watch the TV”

Everyone looks at each other totally confused now, I order another bottle of Port and sit down.

Owen “well I hope Twiddle sees this, you are in such deep shit now Parry baby., your complaint is gonna get thrown out, you lost buddy”

Jbrettlib “yeah, I remember when you really screwed me owen, back in high school, you sent me into vomit Vera telling me it would be OK, you never told me about her weird ways…wow man that was bad”

I get my notebook open, there is a book in this somewhere.

Glorydeath, like everyone else is losing the will to live, “ phew, and….” He stops, realising his brain is overheating trying to keep up.

Vace, polishing his leg with some beeswax “ well this is better then primetime guys”

[Timminz]

Timminz... ....downs his beer with a swift single gulp, much to the amazement of everyone, they never knew he had it in him.

You've come surprisingly close to real life with that statement. Except that anyone who's ever drank with me, would not be surprised in the least to see that.

[Fruitcake]

The complaint part 3

Wacicha, sipping yet another herbal “wow guys, let it go”

Bruceswar, feeling great that for once he isn’t involved “jbrett, you’re really weird guy”

Fwblb, admonishing jbrett for removing his leg “Guys, this is crazy, why are you fighting?”

The men in the bar look at each other and roll their eyes….women, they’ll never understand will they.

Paradice, not taking advantage of the lull and the woman’s touch “Why should I stop, he I tried to drop it but owen wouldn’t let me”

I note a tad of desperation enter his voice and scribble furiously.

Happy2seeyou (godamn those wrists are sore) “owen does what owen does, he didn’t make it obvious it was you, get over it”

El capitan, his heavy moustache wet with beer as he wipes it on his sleeve” paradice is always moaning, and reporting people to Twiddle…he’s just a shit”

I note down his old Mexican army uniform and wonder whether it can be used in a porno movie I am thinking of finanacing.

Paradice, now getting near breaking point “ but but but…” he splutters and stops” Fwblb pffers a tissue feeling sorry for him.

Owen, now feeling righteous and smug “hush little child”

Xxxtig says something….

The situation now turns desperate for Paradice, as Lord Voldemort shrugs off his cloak and starts openly laughing at him.

Owen receives a text telling him the complaint will not be followed up. He smiles and just has to show paradice.

Bruceswar “twiddle only arranges that cause he can’t stand any more of this owen, and you know it”

Paradice “well that’s a joke, and anyway, you lost the argument”

I jot down a note to myself, ‘oh dear, you should have quit there my son.’

Owen offering the olive branch, “hey, chill my friend, let’s have a beer”

Paradice “NO, why should I drink with you after everything you’ve done”

Daydream, sitting enjoying a beer, agrees with Vace, this is better than primetime “So what’s with all the school stuff?”

Steelhorse from behind the bar “Guys, here, have a couple of beers”

Timminz, never one to miss out, chips in “I’ll have one of those if they're on the house Steel”

Steel looks round….there’s always one.

Lord V chuckles….”That guy may be able to drive, but he’s under age”

Owen, not able to leave it continues “Hey, you rang Twiddle, you were wrong, get used to it”

Ovo, just back from the courts where he has been defending a neighbour for scratching the car of another neighbour who was messing with yet another neighbours wife (you’re confused? So was I)says in true lawyer fashion “Guys, you’re both right, chill”

Owen responds like a whip “oh…really? So I was right and so was he eh? These are the facts….”

I lose myself in my Port.

Happy2seeyou, happier now the chafing has stopped “ I should have reported you owen, I had good reason…by the way, you need some serious tanning on that rear of yours”

Ovo, ever one to pick up on the double entendre even when it isn’t there asks if anyone wants to go out with him…the silence is deafening.

I scribble crazily in my book, I was wrong, this is a mini series not just a book or film.

[Timminz]

Timminz, never one to miss out, chips in “I’ll have one of those if there on the house Steel”

Again, it's like you've met me before.

Also. Keep up the good work.

[jbrettlip]

that is beautiful. Congrats for bringing a tear to my eye with your wonderful recaps.

PS I hope Twill doesn't get you for that Mediterrean Mistress comment...sounds a little racist to me!!!

[Fruitcake]

The complaint part 4

Xxtig pipes in, this time I hear him” you guys are crazy, you both won and lost, so let’s move on”

Lord V, by this time sitting with a glass of curiously red liquid, and it ain’t tomato juice quips “ Next time I’m near you on the road, I’m gonna call in on you owen” smiling in his own fashion he sips more of the red stuff.

Paradice, still unable to let it lie returns with lemonade in hand, “Well I can prove your wrong owe…” Steel buries his head in his hands….how much more of this!

Paradice continues, “and another thing, I sent you a text to drop this, so it’s not my fault this has all happened.” Everyone stops laughing, this is getting beyond that now. Fwblb wipes a tear in sympathy, the guys pull faces at each other behind Paradice’s back.

Owen, unmoved, parries, “Oh yeah, sorry it was all myyyyyy fault”

Paradice realising there is nothing coming from owen, turns to Ovo, hoping the lawyer will back him up” Look, look at this” Ovo yawns.

The multi coloured screen flashes up information…Ovo, now with a few ice cold Vodkas down his neck feels ill.

Paradice tries another tack, turning to happy2seeyou he says, “yeah, you should tan owens backside for him”

Timminz shakes himself out of slyly looking at sentinels babe, “Look this is not really about your argument guys, but really, using the word faggot is pretty outdated, and not what I would expect from someone of your breeding Paradice”

Owen, unable to control himself wants another quick jab, “Listen, sonny, these are the facts….”

I reach for the port, this is turning into a saga of epic proportions.

The two of them stand there, bartering information like stallholders in a marrakesh market. I watch it like a game of ping pong wondering if another Port may help the banging in my head.

Suddenly Ovo stands up shouting “You got it wrong kid, get used to it!!!!!!!!!”
Everyone goes silent, this is just so unlike him….

“ooooh, calm down” responds Paradice, unaware of the danger he putting himself in….Fingers starts playing with his hands, cracking his knuckles one by one.

The two of them continue, first Paradice, then owen.

Ovo, depressed at losing his cool, sits morosely as Steel pours him another large shot.

Happy2seeyou, yawning, stretching and showing red wrists to all and sundry, which raises a few eyebrows especially from MeDeFe who has only a hazy recollection of the previous night says “Oh guys, let it go, pleeeeease”

Paradice, still not prepared to let it go without giving the last quip responds “well it’s all too late for that now”

I start to wonder if this isn’t actually a big mistake and reach for the Port, only to realise with some horror another bottle has gone. Steel notices and kindly walks over with another, to save my now unsteady pins.

Owen and paradice continue at the bar…others are moving away now, only fingers watches, with some mischief in his eye (yes reader, he only has the one)

RiskTycoon wanders across from the pool table end “Hey owen, your car is going to get a ticket if you leave it much longer” Timminz taps his ticket machine gently.

Risktycoon continues, trying to break the argument up, ”Paradice, I used to get upset about such things, but hey….lifes too short”….Paradice looks at him with pure venom.

Steel looks at the beers sitting on the bar…looks round to see Timminz watching him with raised eyebrows, sighing, he pushes one over. Timminz smiling, takes a long long draft, smacks his lips and eyes the other.

I rise and stumble to the gents, Knocking into jbrett, he slides off the stool and pushes Vace over, who knocks into Timminz enjoying his third free beer, the beer spills over Jnd who was asleep by now and Optimus knocks his beer over as Jnd jumps up…..I continue. unsteadily. wondering why I am here.

[Timminz]

My favorite part of this saga is the drinking robot.

[happy2seeyou]

Freaking A. This is the first time I have been in this thread. All I have read so far is pages 11 and 12. Thanks a lot fruitcake for the handcuffs. Very interesting story. Maybe tomorrow I can read the rest of the thread.

[owenshooter]

Freaking A. This is the first time I have been in this thread. All I have read so far is pages 11 and 12. Thanks a lot fruitcake for the handcuffs. Very interesting story. Maybe tomorrow I can read the rest of the thread.

congrats to happy2seeyou for completing the Hooked On Phonics workbooks, and finally being able to read.-0

[Fruitcake]

The complaint, final chapter (I hope)

As I exit the gents, I hear the raised voice of Paradice once more….I groan inwardly,….’give it up old son’ I think to myself….

“Please feel free to explain why you missed the lights then owen, your words don’t match your deeds”….

Timminz, now feeling loquacious after his 3rd free beer chimes in “who are you to ask owen about that Paradice, you were admonishing him earlier for the very same thing”

Timminz sits back feeling righteous, and orders another beer, he should, after all, reward himself for using such a word as admonish when 3 parts cut.

Paradice turns…”I don’t ever recall doing that”

Edbeard, the ex football star, with an ageing floozie on his arm wonders why this has continued so long “ owen can go through the lights if he wants, or not, that’s his prerogative” taking a swig from his beer, knowing his floozie was impressed with that word he continues, ”he might be right or he might be wrong, this time he messed up by not getting through the lights, but he paid for it by losing time”

Ovo looks over….this kind of argument is normally used by him in court…

Timminz starts to say something then decides against it, empties his glass and Steel gets him another, reminding him he has to pay this time. Paradice whitters on…

Suddenly Jbrett pipes up….

“Boy, does this argument suck (hic) just thank owen for letting you through the lights the next time, and if I was you (hic) I would be more interested in your cheerleaders at the local school”

Paradice turns “but they are ugly”

Edbeard, thinking about those cheerleaders back in the days he was playing, “yeah man, just avoid him on the road in future”

I look across at some of the others quizzically…Timminz raises an eyebrow….

Paradice continues….I am amazed at his tenacity…perhaps I should offer him a job selling….”So why has no one….”

His words are drowned out by Jbrett, just catching up with Paradice's last words about the cheerleaders….”Yeah, but if they are ugly, and they want to do you, then go for it man” …. Edbeard nods as sagely as he can….

Paradice counters “well she has….”

All of a sudden everyone is talking, the noise gets louder…even Fwblb chimes in….I start to lose track of everything…the banging in my head gets worse, the noise around me gets louder…

Suddenly, with a mighty crash, the door swings open and hits the wall…standing there filling the frame is none other than Twiddle himself…the bar goes silent….

He looks around at the assembled motley crew. A robot sits there pouring beer in his joints thinking it is oil, and oddly wearing a thong under his trousers, Vace sits there mid stroke with the beeswax, his leg up on the bar, Jbrett slides off his stool and lays prone on the floor….Timminz raises a hand half heartedly, Kaplowitz peeks out from under the rim of his cap ‘phew, for a moment he thought that was his wife again’, Happy2seeyou eases the cuffs down to cover the red marks…further down the bar, LordV swigs down more of the red stuff from a glass that never seems to empty. Steel glances at his licence, just to make sure, El capitan sits quietly…where he comes from a uniform like that could mean a visit to the chambers of horrors, Jnd and Whitestanz drop their private conversation about creams to a whisper…in the corner he notices me, sitting there with a Panama hat and a series of empty Port bottles in front of me…I flinch as his eye settles for a moment...then sigh with relief as it moves on…he spots fingers, still cracking his knuckles, the noise like gunshots in the quiet room. Two others sit quietly playing cards with a stack of cash on the table, one of them tries to peer at the others cards while attention is diverted by the mighty Twiddle.

looking over at owen and Paradice, his voice rings out like quiet thunder

“OK, You two….enough! This stops here, and anyways, those lights wont be there from next week, the planners have realised they are in the wrong place anyway, but I don’t want to hear any more….you get that!”

Owen, unable to stop himself responds lightly and with a smile “well I’ll be watching your driving Twiddle”

Twiddle ignores him, he is used to owen….

Paradice, who has yet to learn, continues, “But, I never started this I was just trying to fight….” His voice dies to a quiet whimper as Twiddles eyes suddenly turn bright red and start glowing…I cross myself quickly.

Hulmey, who occasionally helps fingers out with particularly bad payers, pipes up for the first time as Twiddle turns and exits “Big fukin deal man, he didn’t do the lights when you wanted…why are we still talking about this” in his mind he thinks a gun could have sorted this all a lot quicker.

Paradice continues, however, I no longer hear him, my mind is now too addled and his voice too small now.

'Foregone conclusion' and kylejack, who have been following this all the way while they played cards finish their hand and chime in together… but I cannot hear them either

kylejack slides the cash back to himself, grinning.

Owen looks over…”yeah right, thanks….”

I close my notebook. Perhaps I was wrong all along, perhaps this is more a study of human nature…yes that’s it, something to remind myself about in the future….that’s if I ever remember any of it after this bottle of Port.

[Phantom7]

you're a genius man, congrats on another peerless delivery.

[fwblb]

this is awesome. congratulations on always being awesome. congratulations to owen and paradisecity for giving FC something very good to write about. i love jbrettlip in this.

[Robinette]

WELL DONE
The movie script has been approved...
but only if you'll add the following gratuitous action scene:

[Vace Cooper]

Fruitcake.... THAT WAS FUCKING AWSOME! The part when Twiddles comes in the bar,.. Priceless!