Conquer Club

Everyone knows you are still around because of our super-secret back-door dealings, Owen. By the way, I expect my next shipment of banana crates to arrive sooner than the last.


--Andy

AndyDufresne wrote:Everyone knows you are still around because of our super-secret back-door dealings, Owen. By the way, I expect my next shipment of banana crates to arrive sooner than the last.


--Andy

I don't think Andy is going to like this story, and it explains why there are NO bananas for Andy today...




It was just after dark when the truck started down
the hill that leads into Scranton Pennsylvania.
Carrying thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Carrying thirty thousand pounds of bananas.

He was a young driver,
just out on his second job.
And he was carrying the next day's pasty fruits
for everyone in that coal-scarred city
where children play without despair
in backyard slag-piles and folks manage to eat each day
about thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Yes, just about thirty thousand pounds .

He passed a sign that he should have seen,
saying shift to low gear, a fifty dollar fine my friend.
He was thinking perhaps about the warm-breathed woman
who was waiting at the journey's end.
He started down the two mile drop,
the curving road that wound from the top of the hill.
He was pushing on through the shortening miles that ran down to the depot.
Just a few more miles to go,
then he'd go home and have her ease his long, cramped day away.
and the smell of thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Yes the smell of thirty thousand pounds of bananas.

He was picking speed as the city spread its twinkling lights below him.
But he paid no heed as the shivering thoughts of the nights
delights went through him.
His foot nudged the brakes to slow him down.
But the pedal floored easy without a sound.
He said Christ!
It was funny how he had named the only man who could save him now.
He was trapped inside a dead-end hellslide,
riding on his fear-hunched back
was every one of those yellow green
I'm telling you thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Yes, there were thirty thousand pounds of bananas.

He barely made the sweeping curve that led into the steepest grade.
And he missed the thankful passing bus at ninety miles an hour.
And he said God, make it a dream!
as he rode his last ride down.
And he said God, make it a dream!
as he rode his last ride down.
And he sideswiped nineteen neat parked cars,
clipped off thirteen telephone poles,
hit two houses, bruised eight trees,
and Blue-Crossed seven people.
it was then he lost his head,
not to mention an arm or two before he stopped.
And he slid for four hundred yards
along the hill that leads into Scranton, Pennsylvania.
All those thirty thousand pounds of bananas.

You know the man who told me about it on the bus,
as it went up the hill out of Scranton, Pennsylvania,
he shrugged his shoulders, he shook his head,
and he said (and this is exactly what he said)
Boy that sure must've been something.
Just imagine thirty thousand pounds of bananas.
Yes, there were thirty thousand pounds of mashed bananas.
Of bananas. Just bananas. Thirty thousand pounds.
of Bananas. not no driver now. Just bananas!

A woman walks into her room where her child lies sleeping,
and when she sees his eyes are closed,
she sits there, silently weeping,
and though she lives in Scranton, Pennsylvania
She never ever eats ... Bananas
Not one of thirty thousand pounds .... of bananas

- Harry Chapin



Tragic when you realize the story is true...

On March 18, 1965, on Moosic Street in Scranton, a tractor-trailer carrying 15 tons of bananas lost control in rush hour traffic, hitting cars, houses, and wire poles before crashing into a home. The driver, Eugene P. Sesky (35), was killed and over 15 people were injured.

In 1974, Harry Chapin ( more famous for his song "Cat's in the Cradle,") told the story of the tragic events of 1965 in the city of Scranton, in his song "30,000 Pounds of Bananas."

Owenator?

Queen_Herpes wrote:Owenator?

saddly owenator has moved on. if you check the last 2 pages of the general congrats thread i posted a farewell post from him that i received. i'm still waiting for cenna-rules to pay up on my premium for not being banned within a few days of my return... the black jesus has beat the book...-the black jesus

Six more days to Owens return! Woot! Woot!

What?!?!

Oh. The Elf is dim. Welcome back Dark Messiah...

Fast Forward to 2011...

and here we are again, this time just a 3 month ban...


Gentlemen, START YOUR CLOCKS!



Countdown To THE RETURN OF OWEN



Click on the above link for an up to the second countdown of time remaining for Owen's latest forum ban...

Robinette wrote:Click on the above link for an up to the second countdown of time remaining for Owen's latest spurious and vindictive forum ban...

phixed

I can't wait for the 2nd coming of the Black Jesus, I'm nearly pissing myself in pure excitement.

2nd coming... that sounds so dirty to me, for some reason.

natty_dread wrote:2nd coming... that sounds so dirty to me, for some reason.

well for you, you're used to 2nd comings... the 3rd and 4th cumming are what make you even dirtier. you filthy filthy whore.

I think this is his 6th coming, actually. He's been banned 6 times.

whitestazn88 wrote:well for you, you're used to 2nd comings... the 3rd and 4th cumming are what make you even dirtier. you filthy filthy whore.

Is that comment aimed at natty... or IR?

Army of GOD wrote:I think this is his 6th coming, actually. He's been banned 6 times.

owen has been banned multiple times, but the black jesus has only been banned once to my knowledge (which is probably wrong, but who cares, it makes for a more biblical tale).

Maybe admin will consider a name change for Owen when he returns.

whats that, the black big mouth...................................once a mouth , always a mouth ....he would stand right out, he loves the attention

rbelgrod wrote:whats that, the black big mouth...................................once a mouth , always a mouth ....he would stand right out, he loves the attention

I didnt realise we asked for your opinion

lord voldemort wrote:

rbelgrod wrote:whats that, the black big mouth...................................once a mouth , always a mouth ....he would stand right out, he loves the attention

I didnt realise we asked for your opinion

I didn't realise he had to get your permission.

Gypsys Kiss wrote:

lord voldemort wrote:

rbelgrod wrote:whats that, the black big mouth...................................once a mouth , always a mouth ....he would stand right out, he loves the attention

I didnt realise we asked for your opinion

I didn't realise he had to get your permission.

I didnt realise you werent informed that everyone asks for lovo's permisson before they post




this post was approved by lord volemort at 8:32PM EST

He does not need permission, its a free world. And im sorry if i offended anyone or even owen. I like the guy. just get tired of the ..........something jesus crap....thats all....he can say whatever he wants to within reason of the rules of the site.....so excuse me for offering my words of anger and may we all just be one happy website, kinda like smurf village......and we can just be happy, sing songs, and do as we please....la la lalalala lalala lala

Robinette wrote:Here it is...

Countdown To THE RETURN OF OWEN



Click on the above link for an up to the second countdown of time remaining for Owen's latest forum ban...

almost halfway there...

we should start preparing for his return...

Thank to owen's e-mail addiction, i feel like he never felt. plus there's always the super secret off-site bandit forum.

Crazyirishman wrote:

Gypsys Kiss wrote:

lord voldemort wrote:

rbelgrod wrote:whats that, the black big mouth...................................once a mouth , always a mouth ....he would stand right out, he loves the attention

I didnt realise we asked for your opinion

I didn't realise he had to get your permission.

I didnt realise you werent informed that everyone asks for lovo's permisson before they post

I didn't realize that I am now in violation of the rules 1859 times!

squishyg wrote:Thank to owen's e-mail addiction, i feel like he never felt. plus there's always the super secret off-site bandit forum.

I'm out of the loop on that, that must be where all the dirty pictures are posted.

squishyg wrote:Thank to owen's e-mail addiction, i feel like he never felt. plus there's always the super secret off-site bandit forum.

I thought banned members can still post in private on-site ones?

Leehar wrote:

squishyg wrote:Thank to owen's e-mail addiction, i feel like he never felt. plus there's always the super secret off-site bandit forum.

I thought banned members can still post in private on-site ones?

Some can (and do) but not all banned users seem to be able to do that.