bedub1 wrote:Would you date one? I have friends that have a "no single moms" policy.
Your friends are selfish dumbasses who are removing themselves from a glorious opportunity because they're lazy.
That's an overly simplistic view.
Of course it is.
Serbia wrote:For me personally, my reasons were much more complex. My parents divorced when I was young. I lived with my Dad, who married a woman who also had a son (2 years younger than me). I grew up watching the two of them constantly butting heads over raising the other's kid. I also knew that my Dad and step-mom treated me different from my step-brother; I was my Dad's, I wasn't my step-mom's. Based on my experiences, I decided that attempting to raise someone else's child was not for me.
Now again, I decided that as a teenager, and kept that philosophy with me into my twenties. If I were still dating now, at 30, I'd feel differently about it.
See, for my money, you should have the best view of them. You're already painfully aware of the problems that CAN arise with the child-raising, so those issues can be (SHOULD BE) discussed and worked out once the relationship gets to that serious stage. It's not the child-raising that's difficult...it's the communication between the parents. If that's working well, then there IS NO ISSUE with the raising of the children.
...I prefer a man who will burn the flag and then wrap himself in the Constitution to a man who will burn the Constitution and then wrap himself in the flag.
bedub1 wrote:Would you date one? I have friends that have a "no single moms" policy.
Your friends are selfish dumbasses who are removing themselves from a glorious opportunity because they're lazy.
That's an overly simplistic view.
Of course it is.
Serbia wrote:For me personally, my reasons were much more complex. My parents divorced when I was young. I lived with my Dad, who married a woman who also had a son (2 years younger than me). I grew up watching the two of them constantly butting heads over raising the other's kid. I also knew that my Dad and step-mom treated me different from my step-brother; I was my Dad's, I wasn't my step-mom's. Based on my experiences, I decided that attempting to raise someone else's child was not for me.
Now again, I decided that as a teenager, and kept that philosophy with me into my twenties. If I were still dating now, at 30, I'd feel differently about it.
See, for my money, you should have the best view of them. You're already painfully aware of the problems that CAN arise with the child-raising, so those issues can be (SHOULD BE) discussed and worked out once the relationship gets to that serious stage. It's not the child-raising that's difficult...it's the communication between the parents. If that's working well, then there IS NO ISSUE with the raising of the children.
For me now, it's a moot issue - I got married. My wife didn't have any kids; that however was not the deciding factor. And now that I'm older, I wouldn't have minded if she did have kids. Decisions made about relationships as a teenager are not always life-long material.
If you're a single mom and I like you, then I'm going to date the hell out of you. I don't care. We can take your kid(s) to the park too or whatever. If you're a single mom and an idiot, well then I'm not going to date you. Your kids don't enter into that: you're just a shit head. But no matter what I'm not going to let some amazing girl escape me just because she made a bad choice before I ever met her. & I'm not calling anyone's kids a mistake. If a girl is really that great, and her kids are a part of her and her life, then they're really great too. I don't care what others think of that.
I too, was brought up in a messed-up family. I haven't seen my dad since I was 7. I found out that his nickname is "Useless" though (makes sense, don't it?). My grandmother raised me for a few years until I went to live with my mother, and the man that my mother married was a Meth-head. And arguably, I think that she only did it so she could afford better things for her children. If I meet an amazing girl who's also single mom; She's never gonna have to do something like that.
HOWEVER, When it comes to people who have given up parental rights... ohhh I'm going to be so much more cautious.
& that's my take.
keiths31 wrote:What about single parents in general? My ex wife and I separated when my kids were 4 and 2 years old. I had full custody of my children with her having little to no contact with their mother (she had little to nothing to do with their upbringing when we were together either, but that's another I digress). I was their only parent. I met many women who thought I was a very honourable man for raising two kids on my own...but they didn't want to date me because I already had kids of my own. Whatever. Women can be just as selfish and ignorant as men when it comes to this. They are now 11 and 9 years old and could care less about their "mother". I remarried this past December and my kids finally know what it is like to have a mother around.
There aren't many single fathers out there in comparison, but the job is no less harder than a single mother. In fact, with all the stereotypes about fathers, it may be harder. So a tip of the hat to all single parents out there...not just the mothers.
I don't care what anybody else's opinion is, you sir, deserve a great deal of respect. congratulations to you and your new love.
bedub1 wrote:Would you date one? I have friends that have a "no single moms" policy.
I am now married, so no, I wouldn't date one. But even before I got married, I did not want to get involved with a woman who had kids. Of course, I was in my 20's. Once you get in your 30's, opinions might have to change.
Otherwise, my opinions on single mothers are the same as my opinions on all women - some are pretty, some are ugly, some are smart, some are stupid, some are actually guys, some used to be guys, some are confused, some are rich, some are poor, some are American, but most aren't.
Wait, so these people adopted kids? Or is there some supersecret sex change operation that nobody's heard about?
Juan_Bottom wrote:HOWEVER, When it comes to people who have given up parental rights... ohhh I'm going to be so much more cautious.
& that's my take.
I would absolutely agree that is a serious red flag.
...I prefer a man who will burn the flag and then wrap himself in the Constitution to a man who will burn the Constitution and then wrap himself in the flag.
First of all, if I happen to get a girl pregnant, there's no way I'm going to leave her.
Secondly, anyone who doesn't want to date a single mom because of the fact that they're a single mom: you're a dick. haha
If a girl who I liked immensely happens to be a single mom, then that has no effect on whether or not I'd like to date her.
And Serbia, I understand what you're saying a little bit. My parents have been divorced since I was ~8ish, and one huge reason why I never really respected my stepmom as a parent was because my mom still had partial custody of me and I just wasn't buying it. But if a little kid lacks a father figure in their life, then I wouldn't mind trying to take that roll.
The divorce rate is too high. If it weren't, there would be a lot less single moms out there. Of course, sometimes dads die or get captured, so divorce isn't the only factor, but I think it's the biggest one.
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to defeat all evil. -Ephesians 6 KJV
My Smiley: ( ) --- it's got SHIELDS!
everywhere116 wrote:You da man! Well, not really, because we're colorful ponies, but you get the idea.
That right there is why I'm terrified of having children - I might get captured!
Not sure who would capture me, or who would want to, but it's the not knowing that's most worrisome! (Maybe it'll be the Tea Party Death Squads, mistaking me for a non-member; I'M ONE OF YOU, GUYS!!!)
That right there is why I'm terrified of having children - I might get captured!
Not sure who would capture me, or who would want to, but it's the not knowing that's most worrisome! (Maybe it'll be the Tea Party Death Squads, mistaking me for a non-member; I'M ONE OF YOU, GUYS!!!)
well, that may be not all that common- I was thinking specifically of men in the military
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to defeat all evil. -Ephesians 6 KJV
My Smiley: ( ) --- it's got SHIELDS!
everywhere116 wrote:You da man! Well, not really, because we're colorful ponies, but you get the idea.
Well, if your guy's in the military, and your not on the post with him, you;re raisingg the kids without a dad much of the time anyway. Same with any job which takes you away from home for long periods.
jonesthecurl wrote:Well, if your guy's in the military, and your not on the post with him, you;re raisingg the kids without a dad much of the time anyway. Same with any job which takes you away from home for long periods.
yeah, such as truckdriving. But in this case the mom's not single, and she doesn't necessarily have to provide for her children herself because she also has her husband's income to help support the family
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to defeat all evil. -Ephesians 6 KJV
My Smiley: ( ) --- it's got SHIELDS!
everywhere116 wrote:You da man! Well, not really, because we're colorful ponies, but you get the idea.
) --- it's got SHIELDS!
