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Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 8:05 am
by AlgyTaylor
Nephilim wrote:and norse, how does one go about shoving a cock thru a crucifix? is there a hole in most of them? what am i missing here?

and wtf do crucifixes have to do w/ christian masturbation? silly fucker.....
:roll: You can get a sort of L shape easy enough, then you put your finger underneath your nob and hey presto. It works for girls too, since you've got the long end of the crucifix there. Use your imagination after that. Finally, I guess if you had a really big crucifix you could stick your penis in between the wood (heh) and Jesus' arm, that'd probably be quite satisfactory ... but you'd need a huge crucifix to do that with.

I think they REALLY need to hold creative masturbation classes in schools these days.

I know, I know. I'm going to hell. At least they've got all the good music down there ...

Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:49 am
by griffin_slayer
we don't.

Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 9:58 am
by vtmarik
Kayla wrote:Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death

1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
They still do it, regardless of what it says in the book.

If they're high and mighty enough, they can get away with it.

Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 10:13 am
by mr. incrediball
Kayla wrote:Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

James 1:14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death

1 John 2:16 16 For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.
you read the bible waaaaaaay too much...

Re: How do christians masturbate?

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:45 pm
by hecter
mod edit
I think I may cry... I'm just so touched. :cry:

Re: How do christians masturbate?

Posted: Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:51 pm
by hecter
mod edit
Oh, my little 'turd... Come here! *makes kissey faces*

Re: How do christians masturbate?

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 12:16 am
by DaGip
I believe Christians masturbate much like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLllSAc ... re=related

Re: How do christians masturbate?

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 6:40 am
by diddle
DaGip wrote:I believe Christians masturbate much like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciLllSAc ... re=related

I love the music in the background :lol:

Re:

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 11:14 am
by DAZMCFC
AlgyTaylor wrote:
Nephilim wrote:and norse, how does one go about shoving a cock thru a crucifix? is there a hole in most of them? what am i missing here?

and wtf do crucifixes have to do w/ christian masturbation? silly fucker.....
:roll: You can get a sort of L shape easy enough, then you put your finger underneath your nob and hey presto. It works for girls too, since you've got the long end of the crucifix there. Use your imagination after that. Finally, I guess if you had a really big crucifix you could stick your penis in between the wood (heh) and Jesus' arm, that'd probably be quite satisfactory ... but you'd need a huge crucifix to do that with.

I think they REALLY need to hold creative masturbation classes in schools these days.

I know, I know. I'm going to hell. At least they've got all the good music down there ...

i do like Algy's interpretation. :D


who thinks norse asked the most interesting questions?

Re: How do christians masturbate?

Posted: Wed Oct 29, 2008 2:42 pm
by Backglass
How do christians masturbate?
Quietly...and with great shame. :P