Conquer Club

granted, and you got it at a great price. however, it was stolen, and you get busted.
i wish i could draw better.

Granted, but you found a secret magic pencil that turns drawings to life...and you just drew Joan Rivers without her plastic surgery (down to the last realistic wrinkle).

I wish the Bears just won.

granted but then i kill myself....




i wish the hawks would have gone to the SB

I'm sorry I.... I can't grant that. I wish the windchill wasn't -18.

Granted, It's now 0 degrees Kelvin

I wish I didnt have any homework

Granted. But you don't get a good enough education to get into a good university and you wind up sucking cocks at a bus station for crack rocks


I wish I had a pony

Granted, but you are Daniel Radcliffe so you have Sex with it

I wish the Ducks had beaten USC yesterday

granted, but they still lost to UW





i wish more people would like the Seattle Seahawks

granted, but the Seacocks still suck

I wish I had Premium

Granted, but you lose every game and become depressed. You develope a drinking problem and need a liver transplant. You wait on an organ donor list for months and finally your name reaches the top.
But after surgery you get an infection and slip into a comma.
Miraculously you get another liver and this time the surgery is a success and you go home happy and healthy.
3 years later you catch AIDs from a postitute and die.


I wish I had a magic carpet like in Aladdin

granted, but you fall off and die

I wish my hair would grow faster

granted, but it grows so long that you need to cut it, and the barber makes a mistake. he has to shave it all off.
i wish i could go to teh high school of my choice

Granted, but the High School you go to is Jesuit, so everyone hates you and beats you to death

I wish My High School could win some sort of state championship

granted, but it's the spelling bee. and frankly no one gives a shit.
i wish i could get military camouflage fatigues

Hitman079 wrote:granted, but it's the spelling bee. and frankly no one gives a shit.

You can. Go to the local Salvation Army

I wish I didn't have an anal fischer

granted, but everyone that views this topic knows that you have one
i wish i could get some good airsoft guns

granted, but there's a 3 year waiting period.

I wish I could get a massage right now.

Granted, but it's from a unibrowed masseuse named Inga who's built like a linebacker and moonlights as an interrogation expert for the CIA.

I wish that tomorrow was a national holiday, thus obviating me from going tyo work.

Granted, it's Aetherflux, a Discordian religious holiday that can be invoked once on any one day of a year.

I wish I had freaky, spiky, anime hair.

Granted, but you're Hillary Clinton. (am I the only one that thinks her hairdo was created by squaresoft?)

I wish for guns. Many guns. Floating around me. Controlled by murder thoughts.

granted, but they're all aimed at you by people with itchy trigger fingers.

I wish this thread would end already.

wicked wrote:granted, but they're all aimed at you by people with itchy trigger fingers.

I wish this thread would end already.

Granted, but then some moron posts in response to your wish and continues it.

I wish I was less of a moron.

Granted, but just as the thread is about to slip off the front page of the forum, you feel an irresistible moral compulsion to bump it.

I wish that I could beat the various member of the black eye peas with a baseball bat with a big f*cking spike through the end of it.

granted, fergie dies and everybody is happy except apl who kills you.

I wish for one of everything nice.

Granted, but you get high on sugar and spice burns your tongue off

I wish more people knew what SOAD stands for