Ask Wolffystyle

[JOHNNYROCKET24]

why do you keep telling me your taking me off ignore but never do ?

[BoganGod]

why do you keep telling me your taking me off ignore but never do ?

Maybe he likes keeping you guessing?

[targetman377]

how has this not been moved yet

[Falkomagno]

Hi wolfy. I want to ask you, which one do you prefer...little but playful, or big but sleepy?

[e_i_pi]

Dear Wolffystyle,

When was the last time you deceived a small child with sweets, and was the experience worth the justice that now gets pounded into you by your cellmate on a daily, sometimes twice daily, basis?

Good question e_i_pi, thanks for asking it. However, it's abhorrent of you to suggest that what my cellmate does is "justice". Why should a good man, friend of the moose, eater of the mango, get punished for giving a small child sweets? Do not, I ask with steadfast resolve, small children enjoy sweets?

Sure, I told the child that I was giving him cherry-flavored sweets while I actually handed him watermelon-flavored sweets, but is this a crime punishable by 'pounding'? May the Lord be our Judge. May children enjoy their sweet sweets. May the jurors choke on watermelons.

Here's a question of mine own... why is every inquiry I receive adorned with some sort of sexual overtone?

Good question Wolffystyle, the answer may surprise you! Back in the summer of '08 the mighty and glorious leader of the site that we all call Conquerer was someone so insignificant that I cannot remember their name. Their reign was grey, drab, and uninteresting, and this quality of leadership spread across the forums like a thick blanket of smog, stifling all creativity, humour, and elan.

Then, due to the newly implemented rules against farming, a true leader rose to the top, our glorious current leader, King_Herpes. His gameplay is mysterious and complex - on the surface it looks like farming, but there is something about it that makes it not farming. In any case, now that he has taken the throne, King_Herpes has become more active in the forums, addressing his subjects on a daily, sometimes twice-daily basis. His oral technique is unmatched.

This newfound life has propogated many spin-off parvenus in the forums, people who enjoy Carry On films, Benny Hill re-runs, and play-on-word film titles, such as Big Trouble in Little Vagina, Ferris Bueller Jerks Off, Doing John Malkovich, and Seven Years in Thai Butt. This has led to an overall increase in the humourous experiences of forum-goers, the number of bannings, and has also strangely resulted in threads such as this laying dead in the water for many a month. As you may or may not know, many brownnosers have taken up the arms against this kind of posting behaviour, finding it offensive to their narrow minded Christian sensibilities. But alas their attempts are futile... as the ancient adage goes: "The penis mightier than the sword"

[72o]

Back in the summer of '08 the mighty and glorious leader of the site that we all call Conquerer was someone so insignificant that I cannot remember their name. Their reign was grey, drab, and uninteresting, and this quality of leadership spread across the forums like a thick blanket of smog, stifling all creativity, humour, and elan.

Then, due to the newly implemented rules against farming, a true leader rose to the top, our glorious current leader, King_Herpes. His gameplay is mysterious and complex - on the surface it looks like farming, but there is something about it that makes it not farming. In any case, now that he has taken the throne, King_Herpes has become more active in the forums, addressing his subjects on a daily, sometimes twice-daily basis. His oral technique is unmatched.

This newfound life has propogated many spin-off parvenus in the forums, people who enjoy Carry On films, Benny Hill re-runs, and play-on-word film titles, such as Big Trouble in Little Vagina, Ferris Bueller Jerks Off, Doing John Malkovich, and Seven Years in Thai Butt. This has led to an overall increase in the humourous experiences of forum-goers, the number of bannings, and has also strangely resulted in threads such as this laying dead in the water for many a month. As you may or may not know, many brownnosers have taken up the arms against this kind of posting behaviour, finding it offensive to their narrow minded Christian sensibilities. But alas their attempts are futile... as the ancient adage goes: "The penis mightier than the sword"

This is the funniest thing i've read in a long time.

[e_i_pi]

This is the funniest thing i've read in a long time.

As Wolffystyle established earlier, this is not the way you should be posing your questions. You should have worded it such:

This is the funniest thing i've read in a long time? ?

Thank you for your question 72o, a very good question indeed! Perhaps it is the funniest thing you have read in a long time, perhaps not. Only you can answer that question. But I can see in that first quote that you have answered that question! Yet you now pose the question... and around and around it goes, like the plump red tongue of a buxom lady slowly enjoying a strawberry lollipop.

This is a form of conundrum that has baffled human beings for many centuries since Alexander the Great, upon visiting Egypt, asked "How the f*ck did they build that?!" There is no simple answer, but I will refer you to this interpretation of the problem by the famous M.C.Escher:



Upon study of this image, you may see the answer before you... maybe a good start would be if you stopped holding your pencil

[Beckytheblondie]

WOLFFY COME BACK
E_I_PI COME BACK

[ManBungalow]

[cue 'Titanic' theme]

[Army of GOD]

What is love?

[Chuuuuck]

WOLFFY COME BACK
E_I_PI COME BACK

I do miss Wolffy, almost as much as I miss 'ol Becky

[#1_stunna]

Who gave you premium again?

that is a very nice gesture.

[Wolffystyle]

Who gave you premium again?

that is a very nice gesture.

That is a very good question, #1_Stunna, thanks for asking it.

To this moment I do not know who awarded me Premium and the mystery will remain further shrouded by the message I received with the gift:

"Walk two steps towards the closest pier. Now walk one step backwards away from that pier. Now walk exactly the number of steps forward towards the end of the pier that would be equal to the number of steps require to make you take one step off the end of that pier. Bring a floaty. You may use either a cauliflower or an empty bottle of VO5 shampoo in place of the floaty. But do not, I MEAN IT, do not try to find me. I will not be wearing a bright red cowboy hat or leopard print jock strap."

So I followed every instruction carefully and as I took my final step off the pier, clutching onto a:

Spoiler

I did see a man in a bright red cowboy hat and leopard print jock strap. But I know the note said that the anonymous donor would NOT be wearing said outfit, so the only thing I know is that that man was NOT my donor but merely a passerby.

Luckily, as I stepped off of the pier I was saved by a deus-ex-machina in #1_Stunna's and Beckytheblondie's pet seal Günther who just so happened to be swimming under the pier at that instant. We rode together to the shoreline safely and had a couple of minnows for lunch.

As for your second inquiry, Stunna, it has not been input in the correct format and I can only assume that you meant to ask; "That is a very nice gesture?"

To that, I respond that I am not sure yet. The gift certificate has been sent to the lab to undergo analysis as to whether or not it was laced with any sort of contaminant. We must await the lab results before we make any conclusions. There could very well be an assassin out after me not wearing a red cowboy hat or leopard-print jock strap. All I can answer conclusively at the moment is that the minnows I shared with Günther at lunch were delicious.

[Army of GOD]

What does having sex wolffstyle look and feel like?

[Wolffystyle]

What does having sex wolffstyle look and feel like?

That's a very good question Army of GOD, thanks for asking it! This, however, imposes a very great challenge to try to explain through words. I would love to show you -> through interpretive dance HERE.

Additionally, wearing a bright red cowboy hat also helps facilitate the move. Most of the time though, all that is really required is a single person, a mango under the bed, a back room at a Uruguayan Super Market and usually, a full moon. Though, the full moon can be replaced with stage lighting -> it really just helps set the mood.

As for what it feels like-> If I could only use one word to describe how Wolffystyle feels I would use: "Rapturous". If I could use two words to describe how Wolffystyle feels I would use: "Feels rapturous". If I could use three words to describe how Wolffystyle feels I would add a grammatical modifier and say: "Feels very rapturous". If I could use four words to describe how Wolffystyle feels I would use: "Friday - By Rebecca Black".

[Victor Sullivan]

Why have you been on such a long hiatus? Why have you not continued to grace fair CC with your abundant knowledge?

-Sully

[Lubawski]

Why have you been on such a long hiatus? Why have you not continued to grace fair CC with your abundant knowledge?

-Sully

Great question Victor Sullivan. I'm glad you asked. As some people are aware, Wolffy has been busily trying to make a way for himself in the world. All he had told us at EMPIRE before his hibernation was that he was leaving to be trained in some kind of secret art. Just last month Wolffy graced his old friends with a surprise meal, but, truth be told, it tasted a bit like some sort of meat substitute. We gathered that he has been off at some fancy school becoming a chef. Knowing that although we enjoyed having him throw us a feast, we were disappointed in the size and quality presented, Wolffy left determined to do better next time. He has been busily mastering his craft and promises us that next months meal will be done "Wolffy-hana style." I have my suspicion that his intention is to carve up some cattle and cook it in front of his EMPIRE mates like they do at Benihana, the only reference I was able to come up with after an extensive google search. We're all waiting on the edge of our seats, fork and knives in hand.

[BYUwonder11]

Why have you been on such a long hiatus? Why have you not continued to grace fair CC with your abundant knowledge?

-Sully

Great question Victor Sullivan. I'm glad you asked. As some people are aware, Wolffy has been busily trying to make a way for himself in the world. All he had told us at EMPIRE before his hibernation was that he was leaving to be trained in some kind of secret art. Just last month Wolffy graced his old friends with a surprise meal, but, truth be told, it tasted a bit like some sort of meat substitute. We gathered that he has been off at some fancy school becoming a chef. Knowing that although we enjoyed having him throw us a feast, we were disappointed in the size and quality presented, Wolffy left determined to do better next time. He has been busily mastering his craft and promises us that next months meal will be done "Wolffy-hana style." I have my suspicion that his intention is to carve up some cattle and cook it in front of his EMPIRE mates like they do at Benihana, the only reference I was able to come up with after an extensive google search. We're all waiting on the edge of our seats, fork and knives in hand.

Well I'm know I'm ready for this "Wolffy-hana" meal that you speak of, most importantly I'm just glad that being a part of EMPIRE I get first dibs, and I can only assume that KORT will be the main course, although I don't want those sissy gourmet portions they teach you to make at culinary school, going to need the real deal. Welcome back Wolffy.

[jammyjames]

Why have i yet to see your presence in 5 man feudal war games?

[Wolffystyle]

Why have i yet to see your presence in 5 man feudal war games?

This is a very good question, JammyJames, thanks for asking it. The answer may surprise you!

To answer that question, I capture your attention and bring it focus upon the feudal lands of yore. In the time and general area upon which you are now focused lived very timid young boy named JameyJamms who spent countless hours overturning such universal questions as “why are armies of bright colors ravaging my peaceful neutral villages?” and “why is my ancestral region under perpetual bombardment by the Kingdom of escalating growth?” and “how do crickets chirp?”

JameyJamms, constantly lost in thought would often seek to create his own answers to the questions that arose. Due in part to his creative imagination but the largest part was due to the facts that all the libraries, cloisters and scriptoria we devastated in the total Feudal War. JameyJamms , constantly involved within his superego, created a second and parallel identity for himself, which often became his reality. His alternate self, JammyJames, created a peaceful feudal land which saw no war, conquest or destruction. In this alternate identity, JammyJames created a Demigod with all the answers who he named Wolffystyle.

Melding this figment of his imagination with his reality, JammyJames transgressed the line of supra-reality and enabled his feudal demigod to catalyze the very greatest level of introspection by challenging the idea of his very existence from the supra-egoic state by asking him to answer his own question without aid of omniscient being or cricket.

So JameyJamms what is the answer?

[Swimmerdude99]

Wolffy? How much do you enjoy TOFU? And What was the experience like?

[malevolous]

Question: Ozone?

[Ace Rimmer]

Do you think it should be a punishable offense to use someone's first name on the forum? The admins appear not to, so if I were to call you by your first name, it would not be against the rules. How would this make you feel?

[Wolffystyle]

why do you keep telling me your taking me off ignore but never do ?

Good question, JOHNNYROCKET24, thanks for asking it.

[BYUwonder11]

Wolffy? How much do you enjoy TOFU? And What was the experience like?

Did you see his sig buddy he had? That was just the first course, like onion rings at Chili's or Jalapeno Poppers. The main course now is BEEF, a big hearty KORT steak. A1 is recommended but not required. Hope that helps.