Conquer Club

THEY REGENERATE!



DUNGEON AND DRAGONS 4 EVER, BABY! WOOHOO!

When you say "have sex with rocks", don't you really mean, "have sex with their hands"?

pimpdave wrote:When you say "have sex with rocks", don't you really mean, "have sex with their hands"?

Trolls would never have sex with their hands, as they have claws and are too strong and would rip off their own genitals.

First Rule About Trolls Is...

WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT TROLLS.

Is Bitch Tits Bob a troll?

They would have been counted as one of hecter's fetishes at one time?

You don't talk about trolls?

The first rule about trolls is the first rule about trolls.

Tautology club!

I wish I was a troll...

Phatscotty wrote:

what an awefull card. 3 mana for a 2/2 creature with regenerate? no thanks!

Do trolls really have horns?

They are stupid as hell. Both the D&D kind and the virtual ones...

E.

elfish_lad wrote:They are stupid as hell. Both the D&D kind and the virtual ones...

E.

Hahah! What a great joke.

Skittles! wrote:

elfish_lad wrote:They are stupid as hell. Both the D&D kind and the virtual ones...

E.

Hahah! What a great joke.

Don't forget the WoW kind too!

The answer depends on which kind of trolls you mean

Claff wrote:The answer depends on which kind of trolls you mean

Any and all kinds! We don't discriminate in this thread

Rules of a troll you need to know:

Never smoke a bowl with a troll.
A troll wont even know how to roll.

You could, if you need, share some skoal.
though your gums will likely bleed when youre old

Know that a troll will never grow
usually one will fit in a little bowl

Like the wind, a troll will always blow
for a snort of the expensive kind of snow

In a plant, nuclear it will glow
never, ever touch that kind of troll
Tumors in your head will grow and grow
its the most important rule of knowing trolls

Now about trolls, you all know.
But mostly walk away and let them crow.

AAFitz wrote:Rules of a troll you need to know:

Never smoke a bowl with a troll.
A troll wont even know how to roll.

You could, if you need, share some skoal.
though your gums will likely bleed when youre old

Know that a troll will never grow
usually one will fit in a little bowl

Like the wind, a troll will always blow
for a snort of the expensive kind of snow

In a plant, nuclear it will glow
never, ever touch that kind of troll
Tumors in your head will grow and grow
its the most important rule of knowing trolls

Now about trolls, you all know.
But mostly walk away and let them crow.

Oooo! Poetry!

Here is my favorite Troll poem in the whole world!

The Stone Troll
by JRR Tolkien

Troll sat alone on his seat of stone,
And munched and mumbled a bare old bone;
For many a year he had gnawed it near,
For meat was hard to come by.
Done by! Gum by!
In a cave in the hills he dwelt alone,
And meat was hard to come by.

Up came Tom with his big boots on.
Said he to Troll: 'Pray, what is yon?
For it looks like the shin o' my nuncle Tim.
As should be a-lyin' in the graveyard.
Caveyard! Paveyard!
This many a year has Tim been gone,
And I thought he were lyin' in the graveyard.'

'My lad,' said Troll, 'this bone I stole.
But what be bones that lie in a hole?
Thy nuncle was dead as a lump o' lead,
Afore I found his shinbone.
Tinbone! Skinbone!
He can spare a share for a poor old troll,
For he don't need his shinbone.'

Said Tom: 'I don't see why the likes o' thee
Without axin' leave should go makin' free
With the shank or the shin o' my father's kin;
So hand the old bone over!
Rover! Trover!
Though dead he be, it belongs to he;
So hand the old bone over!'

'For a couple o' pins,' says Troll, and grins,
'I'll eat thee too, and gnaw thy shins.
A bit o' fresh meat will go down sweet!
I'll try my teeth on thee now.
Hee now! See now!
I'm tired o' gnawing old bones and skins;
I've a mind to dine on thee now.'

But just as he thought his dinner was caught,
He found his hands had hold of naught.
Before he could mind, Tom slipped behind
And gave him the boot to larn him.
Warn him! Darn him!
A bump o' the boot on the seat, Tom thought,
Would be the way to larn him.

But harder than stone is the flesh and bone
Of a troll that sits in the hills alone.
As well set your boot to the mountain's root,
For the seat of a troll don't feel it.
Peel it! Heal it!
Old Troll laughed, when he heard Tom groan,
And he knew his toes could feel it.

Tom's leg is game, since home he came,
And his bootless foot is lasting lame;
But Troll don't care, and he's still there
With the bone he boned from its owner.
Doner! Boner!
Troll's old seat is still the same,
And the bone he boned from its owner!

You can listen to it on YouTube, although Tolkien recites it a bit differently than how it has been put to print:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9WmxwgW2J0

Juan_Bottom wrote:First Rule About Trolls Is...

WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT TROLLS.

Nope...that's the SECOND RULE!

http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewto ... 8&t=110209

CreepersWiener wrote:

Juan_Bottom wrote:First Rule About Trolls Is...

WE DO NOT TALK ABOUT TROLLS.

Nope...that's the SECOND RULE!

http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewto ... 8&t=110209

Awww! There is no more Second Rule!