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Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 12:40 am
by tkr4lf
First off, to the mods- I read the community guidelines and found nothing in them that prohibited this type of thread. However, if you feel that it is not appropriate, then please, by all means, lock it. I have already recieved a warning, and do not wish to get my first ban because of this. If it is not appropriate, please consider it ignorance on my part.

Now that that's out of the way, this will be a thread to post your funny drunken stories. I will start with my best one.

I was at my neighbor/friend's house drinking beer with him and some of his other friends. Of course, I made the comment that beer does not mess me up too much and that I never get sick off of beer. After many hours of drinking and playing beer pong, I was quite f'd up. I found myslef swaying around the front yard, grabbing onto small, new trees trying to hold myself up, merely taking them down with me.

As the night came to a close for me (that is, as I got wayyy too drunk), I walked across the yard to my mom's house (as I was living with my mom at that time.) My neighbor had to unlock the door for me, as I was so smashed I couldn't get the key into the hole. After making it inside, I stumbled up the stairs, making all sorts of noise. I finally made it into my room, and removed my clothes and laid down to go to bed. Bad idea. After about a minute of laying there, I proceeded to throw up all over my chest and my bed.

I got up, wiped th puke off of my chest onto my bed, and went over to the sink in my room to brush my teeth and clean myself off. After this, I went downstairs to sleep on the couch. Not knowing my mom had a friend staying over who was asleep on the couch, I almost laid on top of her friend. She yelled at me, so I went over to the big, overstuffed chair with the ottoman and laid on it. Shortly after, I began puking all over the chair and myself again. My mom's friend quickly got up and went upstairs to tell my mom about this and get away from the horrible smell.

I proceeded to the kitchen sink to clean myself off and rinse my mouth out, and apparantley my mom came down during this time( though I do not remember this part) and watched me hunching over the sink in my boxers. She quickly went back upstairs, wishing me the worst all the way.

Afterwards, I laid down on the couch, and finally fell into a deep sleep. (Thank God.)

I woke up the next morning to my mom hitting me with a broom yelling "Get the f*ck up, pack your fucking bags, and get the f*ck out of my house!!!!" At first, I had no idea what was going on. But it suddenly dawned on me what had happened the night before.

I ended up cleaning up my room and the downstairs all day long. I had to shampoo the chair many, many times before the smell of beer and throw up left it. I also ended up throwing away the eggshell-type cushion that laid on top of my bed, since it was soaked with vomit and stunk to high heaven. All of this while I had the worse hangover I think I have ever had.

Anyway, this thread was inspired by the fact that I am quite drunk right now. I've been drinking since around 3 pm, when the UT/UCLA game was on. It is now past midnight.

So, anyone else want to post some embarrasing/funny drunk stories for us to enjoy?

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:11 am
by HapSmo19
Sure. About fifteen years ago I got wasted on about 20 Mickey's Big Mouth and passed out. I woke up an hour or so later to a friend slapping me on the back and shoulder saying "WHAT THE f*ck!!". I guess I decided to open the refrigerator and use it as a urinal.

They took it pretty well though and never even mentioned it after that. His girlfriend even cleaned it up for me =D>

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:12 am
by Army of GOD
Wow. Fifteen years ago? I thought you were a lot younger...=S

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:15 am
by HapSmo19
I used to be.

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:15 am
by tkr4lf
HapSmo19 wrote:Sure. About fifteen years ago I got wasted on about 20 Mickey's Big Mouth and passed out. I woke up an hour or so later to a friend slapping me on the back and shoulder saying "WHAT THE f*ck!!". I guess I decided to open the refrigerator and use it as a urinal.

They took it pretty well though and never even mentioned it after that. His girlfriend even cleaned it up for me =D>
Nice...I guess i've never been quite that drunk.

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:18 am
by HapSmo19
Practice, practice......

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:29 am
by Army of GOD
HapSmo19 wrote:I used to be.
So I was right!

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:42 am
by jefjef
There was that time I met a cop on the road and he ended up in the ditch.

yeah... I guess I was drunk. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 4:23 am
by Maugena
jefjef wrote:There was that time I met a cop on the road and he ended up in the ditch.

yeah... I guess I was drunk. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
You killed a cop?

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 12:11 pm
by jefjef
Maugena wrote:
jefjef wrote:There was that time I met a cop on the road and he ended up in the ditch.

yeah... I guess I was drunk. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!
You killed a cop?
No. lolol. He went off the road. Our cars never touched. No one was hurt. If someone had been hurt it would not have had a chance to be funny now would it?

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:08 pm
by tzor
I'm not sure that this counts as funny, although It might make sitcom level (then again that's not funny by definition).

College days, beer party in the dorm room (parents are staying at local hotel although it doesn't come into play).
Lots of Budweizer (I ain't calling it beer).
I'm drunk, I go to bed.
I get up and reach for my glasses ... the lens pops out.
(PANIC!)
I look everywhere for the lens; I pick up everything looking for the lens
I pick up the cactus next to my bed ... from the plant part.
"You know" my drunk mind tells me. "This should HURT. It doesn't. I really should go to bed."
...
"After I pull out the needles from my fingers, of course."

The next morning wasn't the best morning I ever had and was pretty close to being the worst.

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 1:35 pm
by saxitoxin
HapSmo19 wrote:Sure. About fifteen years ago I got wasted on about 20 Mickey's Big Mouth and passed out. I woke up an hour or so later to a friend slapping me on the back and shoulder saying "WHAT THE f*ck!!". I guess I decided to open the refrigerator and use it as a urinal.

Best 6th b-day party ever.

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 3:49 pm
by Timminz
tkr4lf wrote:
HapSmo19 wrote:Sure. About fifteen years ago I got wasted on about 20 Mickey's Big Mouth and passed out. I woke up an hour or so later to a friend slapping me on the back and shoulder saying "WHAT THE f*ck!!". I guess I decided to open the refrigerator and use it as a urinal.

They took it pretty well though and never even mentioned it after that. His girlfriend even cleaned it up for me =D>
Nice...I guess i've never been quite that drunk.
I have. It was at the end of a stretch of about 35 hours of solid drinking.


I don't do that anymore or any less

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 9:32 pm
by tkr4lf
Timminz wrote:
tkr4lf wrote:
HapSmo19 wrote:Sure. About fifteen years ago I got wasted on about 20 Mickey's Big Mouth and passed out. I woke up an hour or so later to a friend slapping me on the back and shoulder saying "WHAT THE f*ck!!". I guess I decided to open the refrigerator and use it as a urinal.

They took it pretty well though and never even mentioned it after that. His girlfriend even cleaned it up for me =D>
Nice...I guess i've never been quite that drunk.
I have. It was at the end of a stretch of about 35 hours of solid drinking.


I don't do that anymore or any less
Yeah, that doesn't sound too fun to me. 35 hours of drinking...seems like would get old after a while. I guess to each their own. :)

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Sun Sep 26, 2010 10:16 pm
by tempest-n-a-tcup
Woke up to see one of my friends urinating on another friend's shoes; while both were asleep and wearing their shoes.

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 12:56 am
by saxitoxin
Back in September '94 I woke-up to find myself piloting Amtrak's Coast Starlight just outside Emeryville. Still have no idea how I got there, LOL. I was afraid I might have some serious explaining to do to the NTSB but they just laughed and were hella cool about it. We've all been there, after all.

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 1:28 am
by tkr4lf
saxitoxin wrote:Back in September '94 I woke-up to find myself piloting Amtrak's Coast Starlight just outside Emeryville. Still have no idea how I got there, LOL. I was afraid I might have some serious explaining to do to the NTSB but they just laughed and were hella cool about it. We've all been there, after all.
:lol: :lol: Of course, my man, of course. :lol: :lol:

Re: Funny Drunken Incidents

Posted: Mon Sep 27, 2010 6:53 am
by Timminz
tkr4lf wrote:
Timminz wrote:
tkr4lf wrote:
HapSmo19 wrote:Sure. About fifteen years ago I got wasted on about 20 Mickey's Big Mouth and passed out. I woke up an hour or so later to a friend slapping me on the back and shoulder saying "WHAT THE f*ck!!". I guess I decided to open the refrigerator and use it as a urinal.

They took it pretty well though and never even mentioned it after that. His girlfriend even cleaned it up for me =D>
Nice...I guess i've never been quite that drunk.
I have. It was at the end of a stretch of about 35 hours of solid drinking.


I don't do that anymore or any less
Yeah, that doesn't sound too fun to me. 35 hours of drinking...seems like would get old after a while. I guess to each their own. :)
Well, there was lots of other stuff going on. It was one hell of a new year's party. Lasted until early morning, on the 3rd.