Conquer Club

Tell stories of what you did to your roommates and/or fellow dorm dwellers at university.

For example:

The dorm I lived in at university was about 100 people and 4 floors. One guy we broke into his room and moved all his stuff into the attic and set the room up completely. He wasn't happy.

In first year we used to play a game where every time we came home drunk from town we'd have a feast using one particular housemate's food. It took him a while but he eventually started storing all his food in his bedroom.

We once carried this guy's car(he had a compact) a half a mile to a different student parking lot. We laughed till our sides ached lol. Then another time we emptied out this guy's bag of flour in his cupboard and switched it with pure cocaine. It cost us about thirty thousand dollars but the reaction when his oatmeal cookies didn't turn out was priceless!

zsp wrote:This.

That place is painted like it's for preschoolers.

We once got one of our friends that the new roommate didn't know to dress up as campus security and knock on the door. He told him that there had been a report of a stolen Xbox and that he needed to check the dorm. When he came in and checked the rooms, there was an Xbox lying on the bed of his room. His reaction was priceless. he actually thought he was about to be reported to the cops.

Funkyterrance wrote:We once carried this guy's car(he had a compact) a half a mile to a different student parking lot. We laughed till our sides ached lol. Then another time we emptied out this guy's bag of flour in his cupboard and switched it with pure cocaine. It cost us about thirty thousand dollars but the reaction when his oatmeal cookies didn't turn out was priceless!

But... But... Thats such a waste of 30K.....

my dorm had nothing major jsut annoying azzhats who could only think of the ole water tipping prank ie filll bucket up fill it with water then lean/tip it against ur door and knock on the door so when you opened it the water went all into your room someties they would even add ice but thats all they could think of

TimWoodbury wrote:my dorm had nothing major jsut annoying azzhats who could only think of the ole water tipping prank ie filll bucket up fill it with water then lean/tip it against ur door and knock on the door so when you opened it the water went all into your room someties they would even add ice but thats all they could think of

Community College is lame like that.

zsp wrote:This.

My mates did that to my door.

However, they did it at 3am in the morning, on a night when I wondered back to my room at 5am.... they were gutted.

In response we put all their kitchen stuff in the cleaners cupboard, and put their kitchen cupboard doors in said cupboard, and then filled the kitchen with balloons. It took them a couple of days to work out that the cleaners cupboard had in fact been unlocked all year and they had just never realised...

notyou2 wrote:

zsp wrote:This.

That place is painted like it's for preschoolers.

Haha I know. It drove me f*cking crazy. Apparently it was a female floor for years before, then my freshman year, guys were put there. The following year, they made the floors coed. Almost wished I stayed living in the dorms for the years after that.

Funkyterrance wrote:Then another time we emptied out this guy's bag of flour in his cupboard and switched it with pure cocaine. It cost us about thirty thousand dollars but the reaction when his oatmeal cookies didn't turn out was priceless!

How in the f*ck do college kids get thirty grand to blow on blow? And how did you find the connection to buy, what....2 POUNDS? And what did you do with it afterward?

I lived with one of the NW biggest dealers in the early 80's...from that and other...experiences....I am fairly familiar with the logistics here (at least in the pacific NW)....I find this story very difficult to believe....sorry....care to give more details?

KoolBak wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:Then another time we emptied out this guy's bag of flour in his cupboard and switched it with pure cocaine. It cost us about thirty thousand dollars but the reaction when his oatmeal cookies didn't turn out was priceless!

How in the f*ck do college kids get thirty grand to blow on blow? And how did you find the connection to buy, what....2 POUNDS? And what did you do with it afterward?

I lived with one of the NW biggest dealers in the early 80's...from that and other...experiences....I am fairly familiar with the logistics here (at least in the pacific NW)....I find this story very difficult to believe....sorry....care to give more details?

Pretty sure that story was not real.

Bastards broke into my room and put foot powder in my hair dryer.

Another one was to get a large bag, fill it with shaving cream, slide the open end under a room door and then jump on it.

notyou2 wrote:

KoolBak wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:Then another time we emptied out this guy's bag of flour in his cupboard and switched it with pure cocaine. It cost us about thirty thousand dollars but the reaction when his oatmeal cookies didn't turn out was priceless!

How in the f*ck do college kids get thirty grand to blow on blow? And how did you find the connection to buy, what....2 POUNDS? And what did you do with it afterward?

I lived with one of the NW biggest dealers in the early 80's...from that and other...experiences....I am fairly familiar with the logistics here (at least in the pacific NW)....I find this story very difficult to believe....sorry....care to give more details?

Pretty sure that story was not real.

You can be whoever you wanna be on the magical lands of the interwebz.

Maybe Funky T was classmates with sabotage back in the day.

Another guy, they took everything from his room and distributed it throughout the dorm. His mini fridge was placed on a toilet in one of the washrooms and the stall door locked. It took him a week to find it.

I'm getting old. I can't recall any.

On the other hand, I have tons of stories from my days in my single dorm (with shared bath) in the mixed gender dorm that was opposite of the washing machine. Those girls were so frugal ... they waited until all of their clothes needed cleaning before they washed their clothes. Nothing but a bath robe. (HONEST I DID NOT PULL THE FIRE ALARM IN THE MIDDLE OF FEBRUARY WHEN THERE WAS 6" OF SNOW OUTSIDE!)

notyou2 wrote:

KoolBak wrote:

Funkyterrance wrote:Then another time we emptied out this guy's bag of flour in his cupboard and switched it with pure cocaine. It cost us about thirty thousand dollars but the reaction when his oatmeal cookies didn't turn out was priceless!

How in the f*ck do college kids get thirty grand to blow on blow? And how did you find the connection to buy, what....2 POUNDS? And what did you do with it afterward?

I lived with one of the NW biggest dealers in the early 80's...from that and other...experiences....I am fairly familiar with the logistics here (at least in the pacific NW)....I find this story very difficult to believe....sorry....care to give more details?

Pretty sure that story was not real.

Yeah, seriously. What would the guy be doing with a bag of flour in a college dorm? You think he's baking bread in his mini-microwave?

We had a community kitchen, derp.

That doesn't address the "rest of the story"....Paul....

RIP, dude....

Ok, erm... We found, while scuba diving in Aruba, a brick (is that the right word?) of pure cocaine. So basically it cost us thirty grand since we figured(we had a math nerd in our dorm) that it was worth about 30k on the street. You guys are really knit-picking this story...

FT I think all the pranks are real but yours. Make up a fantasy thread for your stories.

We "parked" a guy s scooter on the 6th floor's corridor of our dorms

There was this chinese girl that wasn't very bright... I made her believe that the whole building was playing a booty call game at night: when a guy would call a girl she d have to come to blow him and leave. She believed my story 3-4 times.

I used to pee everywhere in the corridors when I came back wasted... Trying to pee high and far, but I didn t really know what I was doing

I put shaving cream in my roommate s slippers

Funkyterrance wrote:Ok, erm... We found, while scuba diving in Aruba, a brick (is that the right word?) of pure cocaine. So basically it cost us thirty grand since we figured(we had a math nerd in our dorm) that it was worth about 30k on the street. You guys are really knit-picking this story...

It's spelled nit-picking. The idea is that, like a typical primate, you are picking nits (the egg sacs of lice) out of your partner's hair and eating them. Knit-picking would be ripping apart the sweater your grandma is trying to make for you.

You're welcome. I don't mind helping; honestly I don't.