Conquer Club

So I once heard that girls love poetry...

This got me to thinking how I could use this to get more ass.

So I bought a small black leather notebook, and wrote a few poems.

I plan to fill this with poems and thoughts.

Then, when a girl is over, I'll leave it out in an obvious place, and make sure she sees it.

Then I'll leave the room for some reason, long enough for her to get curious about it.

She reads it, sees I'm a sensitive guy, and immediately goes moist.

Win?

Here's a few excerpts:

Lightning strikes
thunder booms
Yet the rain is just a tease
merely smearing the mascara
instead of wiping away the mask
and exposing the true beauty
underneath

liquid fire
blossoming in your chest
followed by smokey death
let the two intertwine and strangle you
slowly
relax as the growing fog
dominates your senses

There's a few more, but the book is in the car, and it's raining out.

Maybe I'll post some more later on.

Oh woe is me
that I must read such things
the way to get inside their panties
is merely with diamond rings

Snorri1234 wrote:Oh woe is me
that I must read such things
the way to get inside their panties
is merely with diamond rings

Remember young lads that a ring does not plug up a hole. . .


And a pseudo-book of rhyming drivel only will cause your friends to put Charlie Manson-esque ravings therein when you aren't looking causing the retaining of an attorney to fight off the protective orders.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue
f*ck you
because i love you!

You might need some help with the more rtomantic stuff, so here's some rhymes to start you off with

"Nookie" and "rookie"
"Quickie" and "sticky"
"rumpy" and "pumpy"
"virgin" and "emergin' "
"laid" and "paid"
"cleaner" and "misdemeanor"

Our close blood bonds
is that which keeps us away
from ever loving each other,
An endless guilt to pay

All I want to show you
no matter how forbidden
our love maybe eternal
but you are still my cousin

I have a great idea.....Buy a huge diamond ring, and give it to your girlfriend. If you get lucky because of the ring, let her keep it. But if she does nothing for you, steal it back. Repeat.

jnd94 wrote:I have a great idea.....Buy a huge diamond ring, and give it to your girlfriend. If you get lucky because of the ring, let her keep it. But if she does nothing for you, steal it back. Repeat.

That's a pretty expensive way to bed a woman. You're better off just being charming and spontaneous. Also, you should be tall and good looking. More than that other stuff, actually, be tall and good looking. And have a full head of a hair.

And then be charming and spontaneous. And before long, they will be begging for it, but in the way that women beg for it, which is just giving you obvious signs that it is time to mate.

pimpdave wrote:

jnd94 wrote:I have a great idea.....Buy a huge diamond ring, and give it to your girlfriend. If you get lucky because of the ring, let her keep it. But if she does nothing for you, steal it back. Repeat.

That's a pretty expensive way to bed a woman. You're better off just being charming and spontaneous. Also, you should be tall and good looking. More than that other stuff, actually, be tall and good looking. And have a full head of a hair.

And then be charming and spontaneous. And before long, they will be begging for it, but in the way that women beg for it, which is just giving you obvious signs that it is time to mate.

Well, get a huge cubic zirconium ring then. It looks almost identical and by the time she finds out, you'll have done the deed.

btw that huge head of hair should not be ginger.

brooksieb wrote:Roses are red,
Violets are blue
f*ck you
because i love you!

Got it wrong.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
And I'll f*ck you with a rake.

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I am schizophrenic,
and so am I.

Here's one for your little black book. It's a haiku, so it may not be to everyone's taste:

Bent over, oiled up.
Burning sensation in your colon.
Anal sex.

Enjoy

I love it. Thanks for posting that e_i_pi.

The lass I brought home was a prize,
With an alluring set of blue eyes,
Her breasts, so well kept,
Were what I'd expect,
But her penis was quite a surprise.

that should have her running for the door lol

Roses are red
Violets are blue
In Soviet Russia...
Poem writes you!

T'is poetry and humour

He leaves the book lying around
in the vague hope it'll found
because he has a notion
that involves baby lotion
...and an "oh yes! oh Yes! oh Yes!" sound.

But pimpdave, what about the short, ugly, non-spontaneous, non-charming person. Diamonds. That is where it's at.

SnakeySnakey wrote:Our close blood bonds
is that which keeps us away
from ever loving each other,
An endless guilt to pay

All I want to show you
no matter how forbidden
our love maybe eternal
but you are still my cousin

RustyMonkey wrote: Lightning strikes
thunder booms
Yet the rain is just a tease
merely smearing the mascara
instead of wiping away the mask
and exposing the true beauty
underneath

liquid fire
blossoming in your chest
followed by smokey death
let the two intertwine and strangle you
slowly
relax as the growing fog
dominates your senses

Rapist.

The Inertia of a Lonely Heart


there is no force
acting
against loneliness
or hearts.

at least,
not in the realm of
physics.

fortunately
physics does not
include love.

but chemistry does.

are you getting
my funny metaphors
now?

then decipher
bichromium flouride,
dickface.

that wasn't a nice word
to write,
but i'm alone
in the world
and can take
certain liberties.


-beau sia

here jonesy lemme walk suggs for you

I wasn't gonna bring him to this thread - now you've given him ideas.
No, ,I don't know a good rhyme for "Drool"...

"if you wanna get laid, then here's my rool-
- don't chat 'em up while they're still @ school"


come back here.
Naughty boy.

" "

Another haiku...

I sheathe my sword,
and so to is a sword sheathed in me -
Three-way gang-bang.

...and one more...

A triumverate of flesh
invades in pairs -
DV DA DO