Conquer Club

So,

Last night I watched large chunks of the Sylvester Stallone version of Judge Dredd.

About halfway through the second installment of viewing I suddenly thought "Do you know what this film needs? Ahhnold".

Does anybody else agree with me that "I knew you were going to do that" would have sounded much better as "I gnu yoo were goin ta doo dat"? Wouldn't the whole thing have been considerably better if you weren't constantly having to suppress the fact that the hero was flagrantly delivering his lines from atop a mount of phonebooks? I mean, to be blunt, wouldn't it have been far easier to take it seriously if you didn't have to wonder why on earth somebody would bother cloning an Italian midget?

(1) Who agrees with me? (2) Which other films do you think would have been significantly improved with the addition of Arnie?

Dancing Mustard wrote: Which other films do you think would have been significantly improved with the addition of Arnie?

Barbie - The Nutcracker

Muppet "Treasure Island"

W

Rebecca

2001

Dead Poets Society

Becoming Jane

High School Musical

Reservoir Dogs

jonesthecurl wrote:Dead Poets Society

That would have been the best movie ever made, ever.

Dancing Mustard wrote:So,

Last night I watched large chunks of the Sylvester Stallone version of Judge Dredd.

About halfway through the second installment of viewing I suddenly thought "Do you know what this film needs? Ahhnold".

Does anybody else agree with me that "I knew you were going to do that" would have sounded much better as "I gnu yoo were goin ta doo dat"? Wouldn't the whole thing have been considerably better if you weren't constantly having to suppress the fact that the hero was flagrantly delivering his lines from atop a mount of phonebooks? I mean, to be blunt, wouldn't it have been far easier to take it seriously if you didn't have to wonder why on earth somebody would bother cloning an Italian midget?

(1) Who agrees with me? (2) Which other films do you think would have been significantly improved with the addition of Arnie?

I fully agree.

As for 2:

Schindler's List

Iron Man

Rocky

Star Wars

Grease both one and two...

Brokeback Mountain: I CAAAN'T QVIT YOUS....

Macbeth.

Reasons:
1) Lots of fighting and death.
2) Arnold reading Shakespeare.

Several trilogies

The Matrix (Neo or Morpheus)
Lord of the Rings (Take your pick...Gandalf would be nice: "Yoo shall nat pass!"
Back to the Future (Biff)

Anal Shopping II: I'll be Buck

redemption: The Stan Tookie Williams Story
(edited for accuracy and analitude)

The Shining (as Wendy Torrance) - very different ending, quite a bit shorter, homosexual subtext, and much less shrieking

Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor, Arnold plays every single part.

Frigidus wrote:Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor, Arnold plays every single part.

Including the love-interest.

Any movie with Humphrey Bogart, especially Casablanca

Annie Whether he played Daddy Warbucks or Annie herself. "It is a aard nok life fuur us ragu blagu ragu."

Cliffbreaker &/or Vertigo, just to hear him scream "GNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" I love that.

Space Jam "Yor Bugs Bunni, yor not reel! Yor a cart.....tooon!"

It's a wonderful life "Glevery time AH bell ringing, and Angel get's it is wings GAHHH!!!" *fires disproportianatly large gun at bad guys while eating sausage*

Singin' in the Rain "I am zinging in the rayin! Wvat a goreious's fveeling I AM 'appy AGAIN."

High Noon
I'm with you sherriff! Where are all the other guys?
"It is only me bArt."
Gee sherriff, I've got a family.
"It is ok bArt. Go to yor fam ily. I will defeet them and zhoot the bad guy with the wAHch and turn to the 'amera and say ' time to chill out.' "

Phsycho "NOREman yu R always ignoreing yur poooor mothda!"----holy crap this one would be great.

jonesthecurl wrote:2001

Is that the "hal 9000" movie? 2001:A Space Odessy?
"GLET ME IN!!!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that Ahrnold"
"GLET ME IN NOOOOWWW!!!!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that Ahrnold"


This is my favorite thread ever.

The Gus Van Sant remake (nearly shot for shot) with Vince Vaughn and Anne Heche was actually really good. It was kind of a "study" of acting, in a way. Getting to see a near frame for frame remake, but with different actors.

I think I like Vaughn better than Perkins. But of course Perkins has the advantage of playing the role first, and that might bias me.

However, the truth is, no one would even be able to come close to Arnold.

Good call Juan. That's a movie I will play in my brain now.

I personally love the idea of Gladiator with Arnie. Just imagine the inflection when he says "at my signal unleash hell".

Austin Powers, replace Mike Myers with Ahrnold.

"DOoo I mAke yu hORny bAYbee?"

300, as any character. But I could totally see him yelling "THIS IS SPARTAAAA!!!!!!!".

Juan_Bottom wrote:

jonesthecurl wrote:2001

Is that the "hal 9000" movie? 2001:A Space Odessy?
"GLET ME IN!!!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that Ahrnold"
"GLET ME IN NOOOOWWW!!!!"
"I'm afraid I can't do that Ahrnold"

I was envisaging Arnie as the HAL computer, and maybe doubling as the smart ape at the beginning.

Imagine the wonderful pathos of ARN9000 reverting to singing "Bicycle made for two" as his memory was gradually disconnected...

OOh.oooh, I just thought of another one - Citizen Kane.

jonesthecurl wrote:I was envisaging Arnie as the HAL computer, and maybe doubling as the smart ape at the beginning.

Imagine the wonderful pathos of ARN9000 reverting to singing "Bicycle made for two" as his memory was gradually disconnected...

OOh.oooh, I just thought of another one - Citizen Kane.

I thought about that too but I can't picture it . Others that I can't quit picture:
Gone With the Wind
Easy Rider
Silence of the Lambs
Driving Miss Daisy
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure
Napoleon Dynamite
West Side Story

Anyone?

How about the Batman movies, new and old?

Frigidus wrote:How about the Batman movies, new and old?

No, I see him more in the Adam West TV series.
As Robin.

The Sound of Music?

Skittles! wrote:The Sound of Music?

OMG....
The Rocky Horror Picture Show?
"Da futures OURS so let's planet!
So pease do not tell me to crammit!
I have one tiing to say and DAT'S
Dammit JANit I luv YOOOUU!"
Or
He will ate da nutrisious!!!!
High in a protien!!
And he will swallow da raw eggs!
Try to build up his shouldersa!
His chest and is arms and legs!

In just 7 DAYS I can MAKE YOU a man.

Wizard of Oz?
"PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE GURTAIN!!!!"
*woof woof*
"GET OUUUT! NOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!"

Frigidus wrote:How about the Batman movies, new and old?

If I had better photoshop skillz then this post would be a picture of Arnie wearing Joker makeup (and possibly one of him wearing the batman hood thing too).

As it is, I'll just have to urge you all to think of him saying "I'm Batman" in the same tone he says "I'm Detective John Kimble!" in Kindergarten Cop. It amused me so much that it took me about ten minutes to write this whole post.

"Got-Ham desurves ah bettah klass ov Kriminal. Ahhnd I'm goin to giv it to dem"

The Crying Game as Dil (the 'chick').

Frop wrote:The Crying Game as Dil (the 'chick').

So so wrong.

My thoughts...

Replace anything with Steven Seagull in.

And

Similar to the first post - anything with the Italian (Dwarf) Stallion in too...
i.e. Rambo, Tango & Cash, Rocky, Demolition Man, Cobra...

Although maybe we should leave him out of Cliffhanger - that would do a massive injustice to Arnie.

C.