best and worst pick up lines

suggs · Post by **suggs** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 5:55 pm

The1exile wrote:
CrazyAnglican wrote:The only one that ever actually worked for me though is

"Hi, how are you?"
Had to preface it with an "excuse me" in most cases.

ABSURD! Please keep it sensible-every one here knows that the only way to pull a fit bird is to make some incedibly complex chat up line which is predestined for disaster as soon as you get past the first word.
"how are you" indeed! they're not people for gods sake!
I remember sex i think

CrazyAnglican · Post by **CrazyAnglican** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:25 pm

Norse wrote:Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille nametag.

ROFL

Not actually a pick up line, but I had a friend who tied cherry stems in knots with his tongue.

He kept a pretty full dance card.

DaGip · Post by **DaGip** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:26 pm

Here's a never fail pick up line:

"Do you like oranges?"

and if they say yes, you say,"Me too! Let's f*ck!"

But if they say no, you say,"Me too! Let's f*ck!"

satanspaladin · Post by **satanspaladin** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:43 pm

why is when i see you i think of poetry .

She walks in beauty,
Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes.
~ by Byron ~

Your voice makes me tremble inside
And your smile is an invitation
For my imagination to go wild.

depending on the woman

suggs · Post by **suggs** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:46 pm

Yes, but Byron's earlier draft is better:
"Shall we f*** like crazy people?"

Napoleon Ier · Post by **Napoleon Ier** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:51 pm

DaGip and suggs -- PRICELESS JOKES

satanspaladin · Post by **satanspaladin** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 6:54 pm

None of you have had any pussy have you with lines like these !

Know wonder straight females despair of men

suggs · Post by **suggs** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:04 pm

The Byron was class...
But i still reckon "Fancy me shooting my load all over your face and then buggering off sharpish?" is more pragmatic.

CrazyAnglican · Post by **CrazyAnglican** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:38 pm

Guy,

"Can we skip the pleasantries and pretend I just said something charming and witty?"

Girl,
"Sure, while we're at it why don't we skip to the part where you don't call me tomorrow"

Not that this has ever happenend to me or anything.

riggable · Post by **riggable** » Sun Jan 13, 2008 9:18 pm

"The word of the day appears to be legs. Lets go back to your place and spread the word."

Nickbaldwin · Post by **Nickbaldwin** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:42 pm

If you were a burger at McDonalds you'd be Mc'ing awful.

rambos poodle · Post by **rambos poodle** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 1:54 pm

A single rose can be my garden.,but my world is a desert with out you .

Harijan · Post by **Harijan** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:11 pm

"Did you know that a vegetarian's semen taste sweet because of their low protein diet?"

Worked well for me in college. But I understand it works even better if you are actually a vegetarian.

JoeCorden · Post by **JoeCorden** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:48 pm

"Thats a beautiful dress, fancy a shag?"

Snorri1234 · Post by **Snorri1234** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 2:50 pm

I seem to have forgotten my phonenumber, can I have sex with you?

Fieryo · Post by **Fieryo** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:04 pm

That jacket's very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you I'd be coming too.

The1exile · Post by **The1exile** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:04 pm

rambos poodle wrote:A single rose can be my garden.,but my world is a desert with out you .

Poetry never works.

browng-08 · Post by **browng-08** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:05 pm

Fieryo wrote:That jacket's very becoming on you. Then again, if I were on you I'd be coming too.

jiminski · Post by **jiminski** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:18 pm

rambos poodle wrote:A single rose can be my garden.,but my world is a desert with out you .

"A single rose can be my garden.... And one small thorn can still give you a good pricking"

suggs · Post by **suggs** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:24 pm

"Can i buy you drink so you can pour it over my face when i suggest a threesome later on?"

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:25 pm

there is only you

Harijan · Post by **Harijan** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:39 pm

If you f*ck me tonight I won't stalk you for the next 6 months.

jiminski · Post by **jiminski** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:41 pm

Harijan wrote:If you f*ck me tonight I won't stalk you for the next 6 months.

hehe.. i'll try that one!

suggs · Post by **suggs** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:50 pm

Stalking's fun.
*hastily dashes off to change profile*

clapper011 · Post by **clapper011** » Mon Jan 14, 2008 3:51 pm

is that you ? I thought it was a ray of sunshine