"Clive, I asked you to pop down to John Lewis for some curtain fabric. That was many, many years ago. Where have you been?"
"Well that was the problem, the fabric! It had to come all the way from Flanders, and the boat bringing it was intercepted by vassells of the french king, so I tried to get the name of the king, because I wanted to complain, but it was quite complicated. It turned out that when the last son of King Phillip the Fair died, the direct male line of the Capetians had actually ended, meaning that the French throne would theoretically pass to Edward the III, through his mother, Queen Isabelle, so the French invoked Salic law to transfer the crown to Philip of Valois..."
"Clive, that's the plot of the Hundred Years' War. Where have you been?"
"I've been trying to fill a bath with cum."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6gtH5D3RgoY From about 4.56 onwards. Watch.