i cough on you then tell you that I have just given you a fatal disease. You both go mad and kill yourselves. It is only in the afterlife that you realize that my disease was neither fatal nor contagious.
I HAVE RETURNED.I AM SUNTZU,,,,,,the harbinger of death.i look at your pathetic excuse for a planet.mainly blue in color ,,,,some green patches.i decide to destroy entire planet. load the multy -dimensional 238 anti-matter charge.LAUNCH,,,,,die pathetic carbon based lifeforms.i put 1000 nanobytes to completley clean up ANY residual life force.i have found no life at all.i release a very large charge of plotononium 235 ,and 5.5 trillion tons of a very deadly dose of lasso-anthrax hybrid to finish off all humans.3.8tons of ebola-tetanis-cancer anti -cure to add to the toxicity.MY SPATIAL QUADRANT. GET AWAY. SUNTZU
Since I was killed as a dead person I come back as a live person. Only this time I have knowledge of both worlds and become an unstoppable immortal. I then sign a peace treaty with Cow and the other immortals and take over mt. everest.
waits a few trillion trillion years until the big crunch, followed by a big bang, waits another trillion or so years for intelligent life to form again, shows them superior technology such as cell phones and they give me a hill as an offering
We are the only 2 beings left from the previous world and as such I decide to show responsibility (however you want to view it) to lead the new inhabitants. They mistake me for god and I decide it's not worth convincing them out of it.
by revising yourself you create a time paradox since you have already killed yourself and therefore can't go back and change what you did. The universe implodes. waits a few trillion years for intelligent life to form, decides to use fire to scare natives into submission and claim the hill for myself