the longest thread, thread - Occasionally NSFW

[targetman377]

well i am going to play frisbee golf today!!!!

[strike wolf]

And quit calling me Jim.

jim i know you hate it when you call you jim but everone here has got a nickname by someone else and it sticks i gave auto mario. i gave strike wolf lone wolf. lone wolf gave me nuclear squarl and jonesy well he goes by jonesy and crul luric and jonesy are special we have not got around to it. its our way of say welcome to the thread ok JIMMY BOY

Well, yeah we haven't given Lucari a nickname yet. Jonesy's nickname pretty much is jonesy. Other than that yeah. Nicknames stick whether you want them or not.

[strike wolf]

ok jjm this is the one time i will call you that ok here is the down low. here at the longest thread we pride ourselves on haveing NO SPAM and what you are doing is gettling close to spam. alright now before you get all mad at us we are ok with you here and we like you alright. take it from me auto hated me when i first came and now look we are running for pres. and vice prise. ok just cut back on the pointless post responding to post is cool and makeing new conversation is always alowed but not pointless ones ok we are not mad at you ok!!!!!! thanks for listnig jjm and thats the last time i call you that

If he's able to understand what you just said, I'm sure he'll listen but...that might be asking a lot.

[strike wolf]

I'm surprised noone has noticed (or at least said anything) yet...
About what I'll let you figure out for yourselves...

Well you have pokeporn in your avatar and your sig reeks of irony...

How does my sig reek of irony?

"Nerds are smart, geeks sit on the couch and play Halo.
pm me if you wanna play mario kart, 007 QOS, or SSBB on wi-fi"

Also I'm gonna guess that your favorite character in SSBB is Lucario.

[strike wolf]

So I'm back from last night. Kind of disappointing overall as I spent a lot of my time just waiting for them to "get ready".

[JJM]

Spears will be coming to Grand Forks all the Des Moines, Iowa. she could have gotten a much larger crowd if she would have stopped at the Twin Cites. Grand Forks has a population of 55,000 and the Twin Cites metropolitan area has a population of over 3 million.

JJM i was just there oh what i live in the metro of the twin cities silly me

Maybe she got curious to know what snow looks like. I hear that states in the deep south don't git much of it. (I edited your post )

[strike wolf]

I live in atlanta. In the last 5 years we've only had snowfall that's stuck three times two of them were during the same year.

[Lucarilover240]

New Page, so...

[JJM]

I live in atlanta. In the last 5 years we've only had snowfall that's stuck three times two of them were during the same year.

In GF, ND it snows from October or November to April or May. In the recorded history of GF it has snowed in June, It has snowed in august but has never snowed in July.

[strike wolf]

I live in atlanta. In the last 5 years we've only had snowfall that's stuck three times two of them were during the same year.

In GF, ND it snows from October or November to April or May. In the recorded history of GF it has snowed in June, It has snowed in august but has never snowed in July.

on't you know nothing? It never snows in July no matter where you are.

[JJM]

I live in atlanta. In the last 5 years we've only had snowfall that's stuck three times two of them were during the same year.

In GF, ND it snows from October or November to April or May. In the recorded history of GF it has snowed in June, It has snowed in august but has never snowed in July.

on't you know nothing? It never snows in July no matter where you are.

[AndyDufresne]

Hm, mmhm, bananas? **Eats a few bananas**


--Andy

[Dancing Mustard]

Yeah, that's right baby. Eat it good.

[autoload]

I like Toto.

Ugh, our daughter wants a little dog like that. I want another boarder collie. I guess since my wife wants to stay in the city maybe we should get a small dog I just hate how they are so yappy.

How about Rin Tin Tin?

[autoload]

ok jjm this is the one time i will call you that ok here is the down low. here at the longest thread we pride ourselves on haveing NO SPAM and what you are doing is gettling close to spam. alright now before you get all mad at us we are ok with you here and we like you alright. take it from me auto hated me when i first came and now look we are running for pres. and vice prise. ok just cut back on the pointless post responding to post is cool and makeing new conversation is always alowed but not pointless ones ok we are not mad at you ok!!!!!! thanks for listnig jjm and thats the last time i call you that

This was surprisingly eloquent.

[autoload]

So I'm back from last night. Kind of disappointing overall as I spent a lot of my time just waiting for them to "get ready".

That's so dumb.

[autoload]

Hm, mmhm, bananas? **Eats a few bananas**


--Andy

Andy!

[autoload]

Damn! No catchphrase.

[AndyDufresne]

Damn! No catchphrase.

Damn! sounds like a catchphrase to me. **Eats a banana, passes one to Autoload**


--Andy

[autoload]

I will obey the all wise Andy! Catchphrase only to be used after a long string of catch up posts of course.

[targetman377]

I live in atlanta. In the last 5 years we've only had snowfall that's stuck three times two of them were during the same year.

In GF, ND it snows from October or November to April or May. In the recorded history of GF it has snowed in June, It has snowed in august but has never snowed in July.

on't you know nothing? It never snows in July no matter where you are.

antartica and right now its winter time in the southern hemispher and in minnesta we have had snow in july

[Lucarilover240]

New Page, so...

[Lucarilover240]

Okay, auto, heres your story!

End of Our Days
Written by Lucarilover240

Jack ran down the alleyway, clutching a briefcase tightly to his chest. He had no idea where he was or where he was going, nor did he have time to stop and examine his surroundings. The back roads and alleyways where he grew up seemed unfamiliar to him now. Jack was a middle aged man of 32. His face was covered with dirt and scratches. A small scar was directly above his left eye. He wore a makeshift battle suit- a pair of gray cargo pants with several extra pockets for storing food and supplies, a pair of scuffed black boots, and an armored vest that was really just a dark green coat with pieces of Kevlar sewn on randomly. Such suits were common in the resistance, since they could rarely afford anything better. In his hands Jack clutched a metal briefcase, which he now clutched tightly to his chest. He ran as fast as he could around a corner, and paused for a brief moment to catch his breath. "What have I gotten myself into this time?" he thought to himself.
At the opposite end of the alleyway, the two guards who had been chasing Jack appeared. They spotted him immediately and began running towards him with inhuman speed. The guards were clad in advanced armor suits, which protected them from anything and everything that could cause them harm, whether it was explosions, gunfire, gas, fire, or anything else. Their faces were covered by a stone gray helmet, with eyepieces that glowed an eerie red color. These suits were identical to those worn by the millions of other guards that now plagued the country. They had incredible speed, strength, and agility. All of their basic senses were far greater than any normal human. This led some people to wonder if they were human at all. However, regardless of who or what they were, they all were completely loyal to one man- The self proclaimed "emperor", Varden. He and his army had seemed to come out of nowhere, and had overrun the entire country in less than a month. Now, Varden's troops were everywhere. They could be seen at every street corner, and people could rarely look out their windows without seeing at least one. Few people dared to rise against Varden, and those who did usually weren't able to put up much of a fight. However, if Jack's mission was a success, the resistance might have a way to end it all.
But first he would have to get rid of the two guards that were now pursuing him. Jack knew that the only reason the guards hadn't gunned him down was because they couldn't risk destroying the briefcase he now held. If they caught him, however, he was as good as dead. Luckily, he had anticipated being chased, and had set up a plan with his fellow resistance members to get him safely back to their hideout with the briefcase. Jack took off at full speed, but every time he looked back, the guards were closer to him. He darted into a narrow lane between two buildings, with Varden's guards following close behind. A 5 foot chain link fence stood in front of him, and he quickly scrambled over it. The fence did not deter the guards in the least. The first guard jumped completely over the fence, while the second charged right through it. Jack rounded another corner and saw a large, half destroyed building across the street. He knew exactly where he was now. He gave a quick wave at the building, and then hid himself amongst the dumpsters and garbage bags piled up against the wall of a second building next to him. The guards rounded the corner, and looked around. They knew that their target couldn't have reached the other end of the lane in the mere seconds it had taken them to arrive. They began looking carefully at the piles of garbage around them. Jack had hidden himself well, but he knew that with their advanced senses, they would find him in seconds. Luckily, a few seconds was all he needed. A rocket suddenly flew through the alleyway, barely missing the guards. It struck the dirt ground, exploding and throwing up dirt and debris. A huge cloud of dust now stood between Jack and the two guards. One of the guards, ignoring the distraction, looked carefully through the dust cloud for their quarry, while the other tried to determine where the missile had been fired from. Gunfire suddenly erupted from the ruined building across the street, ricocheting off the guard's heavy armor. Jack knew that although the gunfire wouldn't be able to kill the guards, they would be too focused on their attackers to see him through the dust cloud, even with their advanced senses. Sure enough, both guards turned and began firing at the building, occasionally glancing behind them in hopes of catching a glimpse of their prey. Jack slowly crept out of his hiding place and sneaked back in the direction he came from. He was safe for now, but he still had to watch out for any more guards that might be lurking about. After what felt like hours, he finally reached his destination: an empty, rust covered dumpster, resting against a building. He looked carefully at the dumpster, and saw a small black star painted on the front left corner. This was definitely the place. Making sure he wasn't being watched, he crawled into the dumpster and shut it. To make sure he hadn't been followed, he waited and counted to sixty. Finally, he knocked quietly on the back wall of the dumpster seven times. A tiny section of the back wall of the dumpster opened, and a pair of eyes quickly peered through. After seeing Jack, the eyes drew away from the small opening, which shut behind them. A few seconds later, a second, larger opening appeared, leading to a secret room under the building the dumpster rested against. Inside the room sat several dozen people. They were young, old, men, women, even a couple children. They all wore tattered battle suits similar to Jack’s. This was the resistance hideout. As Jack entered the room, everyone turned and looked at him. One of the older resistance members, seeing the briefcase Jack held, asked “You… You actually got them?” Jack responded “Yep. See for yourself.”, and laid the briefcase out on a table, opening it.
Inside was a large set of blueprints for Varden’s estate. Upon seeing the documents, everyone in the room cheered. With the help of these documents, the resistance might finally be able to do some real damage to Varden’s empire. Everyone immediately began planning an attack on Varden’s estate. What most people referred to as his “estate” was really a humongous fortress, several stories high, completely surrounded by 6 foot thick steel walls, protected inside and out by countless other automated defense systems, and was occupied by an incomprehensible number of guards, not to mention Varden himself. Any direct assault on the estate would be a complete slaughter, and no amount of planning could change that. But the resistance finally found a way to enter without getting torn apart- not right away at least. They would tunnel under the estate and plant a small but powerful bomb, the only weapon the resistance had ever been able to seize from Varden’s forces. However, this bomb would never be able to destroy the entire estate. Therefore, the resistance had to choose a target, and choose carefully. They thought and debated for hours on where they would strike. Finally, they came to a decision: They would destroy Varden’s security mainframe. It was this mainframe that allowed Varden’s security officers to know everything that took place in his empire, communicate with his millions of guards, and stop any attempted attacks on his empire before they even began. Without the security mainframe, Varden would have no way of knowing what was going on outside his estate. His guards would be completely clueless and become less of a threat. The resistance would finally have a bit more freedom to move, organize themselves, recruit others to their cause, and maybe even obtain weapon that could stand a chance against Varden’s troops. If they were successful, it could very well mark the beginning of the end of Varden’s empire. They began construction on the tunnel immediately. They dug for weeks, slowly getting closer to their target. Thankfully, the security mainframe was on the first floor of the estate, so the resistance wouldn’t have to enter and try to reach the second floor. For the first time, Jack saw hope in the eyes of his comrades. After about a month of digging, they finally finished their tunnel about four feet below the floors of Varden’s security center. Now all that was left was to place the bomb. They couldn’t place the bomb inside, since the security center was always occupied, and they would be killed the moment they broke through the floor. The resistance decided to instead blow up the tunnel directly below the security mainframe. The explosion was certain to break through the floor, and whatever survived the explosion would most likely collapse when the tunnel beneath caved in from the blast. Jack steadily affixed the explosive to the ceiling of the tunnel, holding the detonator in his free hand. As he armed the bomb, however, a huge section of the ceiling was blown inwards, and through the newly made opening swarmed about a dozen guards, catching everyone off guard. Within seconds, Jack found himself and his comrades above ground in Varden’s security center. Jack looked around. Each of his comrades was being held firmly from behind by guards, and about fourteen more were watching them. Jack noticed one of the guards place the bomb they intended to use on a table. Upon closer inspection, he also noticed that the guard had neglected to disarm the explosive. Jack took special care to keep the detonator hidden in his hands. He quickly glanced at his fellow resistance members, each of which gave him a slight nod. Just then, another figure entered the room. He was wearing casual clothing- jeans and a leather jacket. The figure had no real visible muscles or special features and didn’t look like much of a threat. But Jack knew that this was by far the most dangerous enemy he would ever come in contact with. It was the lord of everything around them, the very person responsible for all the chaos. It was Varden himself. Jack gulped. All the other resistance members began sweating and cringing nervously. Every one of them knew that Varden’s appearance disguised his true abilities. Varden walked around the room, looking over each of the resistance members as he passed. He remained perfectly calm, and seemed to show no change in emotion. He waved quickly toward his guards, saying “Release them.” His guards immediately obeyed, letting go of their prisoners. Varden addressed the resistance members, greeting them as if they were houseguests. “Good day to you, gentlemen.” he stated. “We’ve been expecting you. I must say, you put quite a bit of effort into this little operation of yours.” One of the resistance members asked, “Expecting us? What are you talking about?” Varden gave a quick laugh. “What are you talking about? Did you really think I wouldn’t find out about your little operation? To tell you the truth, I’ve been following your every move ever since you stole this bomb.” He patted the bomb on the table. Jack clenched the detonator firmly in his fist and asked Varden “If you knew what we were planning all along, why wait until now to do anything?” Varden strode over to Jack and looked him in the eyes. Jack shivered. He could almost feel the stare, as if it was burrowing into his very soul. “My boy,” he replied, “Now what would be the fun in that? It would be… Unsporting of me not to give you some sort of chance. Besides, I find that having you see your carefully laid plans go to waste much more damaging to what little morale you may have.” Varden laughed, and he urged the rest of his men to laugh along with him. Jack yelled over the laughter, “Well, there is one thing that our planning was still good for.” Varden held up his hand, and the laughter stopped instantly. He looked toward Jack and raised an eyebrow. Jack wordlessly lifted the detonator. Varden’s eyes widened. He turned toward the bomb on the table with a look of sheer terror on his face. All the rest of his guards turned as well, undoubtedly sharing the same look of terror beneath their helmets. Jack smiled. And then he pushed the button.

[targetman377]

Perhaps for this thread to continue, and maybe progress at a quicker race we need some more substance. Proposition: A quick continuing story where you must base whatever you are adding to it from the previous responder. Be as whacky and crazy or as calm and serious as you wish. I'll start it off with a CC theme. (Yes, little inspiration did come from Family Guy, but that doesn't mean it has to go that route, it's just a good base point. )[Feel free to not to contribute and keep adding whatever you wish to the thread, but for those who do continue the "story" make it clear that whatever you are contributing is by using [large bold brackets].]

~~~~~~~~

[They had just finished making love and the man knew that something had went horribly wrong. No, not that. Something on a small scale--a very small scale. He looked at her and saw a faint twinkling glimmer in her eye. He could not quite fathom what he had unleashed (no pun intended) on the world. But one thing was certain, and that was world domination would ensue shortly after 9 months...]

OMG andy posted and said nothing about bannas once

[targetman377]

I'm all about being committed to this cause - I also think there's more of a challenge to this longest thread thing than we first realized. To me, you see, if the thread ceases to be the longest thread thread and becomes a longest thread about something other than being the longest thread, we will have defeated ourselves somehow. For a moment there a while back, I was afraid it would become something of a flame war thread between the north and the south, but I think we've retreated from the brink of ruin on that front.

I think to really be a thread about the longest thread, its subject matter can't be supplanted by anything really worth talking about - it kind of has to be a thread about nothing.

That said, I think a discussion of whether or not it is a thread about nothing is reasonably within the bounds of being nothing, so all your comments are welcome...

Boo steroids.

well by this i think we fail lone wolf what about you???