Men! How do you cook a steak?

[Sackett58]

I tell the wife that she better get the f*ck in the kitchen and do me a steak

Wait a minute. Is this the same Cena who was pleading with his wife for another year of premium?

[jay_a2j]

GRILLED.... WELL DONE.... ADD A1 and WHA-LA!

What the hell is "WHA-LA"? Do you mean "voila"?

Voila? Que? No comprende. Es wha-la.

[Sackett58]

I tenderize mine then rub it with olive oil, fresh chopped parsley, chopped garlic, lemon rind, salt and pepper. Then let it sit overnight. Slap it on the barbeque. A good rib eye is the best to use.

[Symmetry]

I just want to cook the best steak possible. Surely this is something that transcends racial, social and linguistic boundaries.
That can bring grillers and broilers together.

Those who cry "voila!" and those who cry "wha-la"!" in joy at their well made steak.

Those who can afford a decent cut and those who can't, but do the best with what they have. And damn it, entertain friends and loved ones with it.

Are we not men?!

*Walks off stage to a slowly building standing ovation*

[PLAYER57832]

I've been playing around with the best way to cook a decent steak. My budget stretches to rump steak (or round steak in the US wiki tells me). I can't fire up a barbecue all the time. What's the best way to maximise flavour and minimise toughness?

Grill, griddle, pan fry? Marinade? Rub? Tenderise?

Personally I go for pan fry in some butter. Leave the steak out from the fridge to loosen up with some cracked black pepper. Pre heat the pan till it's nearly smoking, then a few minutes either side and leave it to rest. I like it rare/ medium rare myself, but I've had a couple of nice steaks well done.

On the same topic- best cuts and types of beef? Aberdeen Angus is one of the best in the UK, but I also used to live in Kobe, Japan. That stuff takes some beating.

Actually, if you cannot afford the pricer ribeyes and new york or Porterhouse type steaks, you are probably better off with a cheaper chuck steak, instead of a round. (round tends to be dry and tough). The marbeling is what gives the meat flavor. Chuck can be a bit tougher (grisle, etc.), but the taste is excellent. Also, try getting one a bit old (eeerm.. "aged" ).


Use coal or wood, not gas if possible.

Then just don't overdo anything -- the spices, the cooking, etc. Cook one side, turn ONCE, then serve.


(oh.. hint.. if you want to hide the "origins", try slicing it and serving that way.)

[Woodruff]

I tell my wife to go make me a steak.

[SultanOfSurreal]

GRILLED.... WELL DONE.... ADD A1 and WHA-LA!

ugh

you should be kept at least 100 yards from uncooked steaks at all times

here is what you do with a steak. if it's a good cut, you only need a little pepper, a little garlic, and a cast-iron skilelt. not nonstick. cast-iron. you heat the skillet to about 400 degrees (or like 20-ought-hibbity for you backwards peoples using celsius) and slap the seasoned steak on. this will sear the meat.

now i prefer it cooked medium, but medium rare is edible. anything less is for savages, anything more is for people who secretly have a shoe-leather-eating fetish

steak does not need sauce. well maybe if you're getting it from applebees or some shit. if you must put something liquid on your steak, make your own au jus, or sautee mushrooms in garlic and butter and put those on top.

if you're making one, there are thousands of marinades you can use and many of them are quite delicious, here is my favorite: olive oil and red wine vinegar (about a 2-to-1 ratio), a splash of real red wine, italian oregono, garlic, salt, and pepper to preference. remember to turn your steaks every once in a while.

a great steak is seared on the outside and somewhat bloody in the middle. this is childishly easy to accomplish and there is no excuse for fucking it up

[neanderpaul14]

I just want to cook the best steak possible.

I was camping one time and it was Sunday afternoon and I was preparing to start breaking up camp, I noticed within' my cooler a steak that was meant for the previous evening's supper but never got eaten, realizing if I took it home it would probably end up going to waste and not wanting this to happen I asked my fellow campers if any one wanted it, all declined. Still not wanting to waste it I tossed the grill over the remains of the campfire, and placed the steak on it, the fire was at this point only smoldering coals, I believe the wood was from a long dead well seasoned apple tree. Maybe three quarters of an hour later I flipped the steak and continued breaking camp, about a half hour after that, my truck being all packed, I returned to the fire pit and retrieved the steak, still not being to hungry I offered it around again, all declined again so I decided to give it a go. OMFG the slow cooking over this well seasoned and aromatic wood made the most incredibly well flavored steak I have ever eaten in my life, no seasoning, no sauces, nothing, not even salt. It was amazing. Even though I was still not very hungry I greedily devoured this massive slab of charred flesh, in my haste I had even packed all of plates and was consuming this caveman style, barehanded and tearing off chunks with my teeth. It was so good that after it was gone, with grease still lingering in my moustache and on my chin and me even more not hungry, I wished for another.

I love steak and have tried a myriad of sauces and rubs on them, but nothing will ever compare to this one brilliant and epic culinary moment. This steak was truly orgasmic.

Granted few have time for this type of cooking all the time within modern society, so for daily cooking of steak I recommend grilling. Charcoal is nice but for convenience I prefer a gas grill. A smoker box placed within will give a nice smoky flavor to your food. If the weather does not permit me to grill I prefer the broiler to any other method.

[Snorri1234]

now i prefer it cooked medium, but medium rare is edible. anything less is for savages, anything more is for people who secretly have a shoe-leather-eating fetish

Also, if your barbeque your steak you should let it marinade in beer for a while. It decreases the carcinogens and also tastes nice.

[Neoteny]

GRILLED.... WELL DONE.... ADD A1 and WHA-LA!

ugh

you should be kept at least 100 yards from uncooked steaks at all times

here is what you do with a steak. if it's a good cut, you only need a little pepper, a little garlic, and a cast-iron skilelt. not nonstick. cast-iron. you heat the skillet to about 400 degrees (or like 20-ought-hibbity for you backwards peoples using celsius) and slap the seasoned steak on. this will sear the meat.

now i prefer it cooked medium, but medium rare is edible. anything less is for savages, anything more is for people who secretly have a shoe-leather-eating fetish

steak does not need sauce. well maybe if you're getting it from applebees or some shit. if you must put something liquid on your steak, make your own au jus, or sautee mushrooms in garlic and butter and put those on top.

if you're making one, there are thousands of marinades you can use and many of them are quite delicious, here is my favorite: olive oil and red wine vinegar (about a 2-to-1 ratio), a splash of real red wine, italian oregono, garlic, salt, and pepper to preference. remember to turn your steaks every once in a while.

a great steak is seared on the outside and somewhat bloody in the middle. this is childishly easy to accomplish and there is no excuse for fucking it up

This is all true, with a few differences of opinion. I prefer mine medium-rare, and ask for rare in restaurants so that they get it right. But at home on the cast iron is the way to go, and the grill is nice too. I do have a thing for TGIFriday's Jack Daniels steak sauce/marinade stuff. It complements the steak well imo.

My gf is paranoid about germs and always gets her steak as closed to burnt as possible...

[jonesthecurl]

I just want to cook the best steak possible.

I was camping one time and it was Sunday afternoon and I was preparing to start breaking up camp, I noticed within' my cooler a steak that was meant for the previous evening's supper but never got eaten, realizing if I took it home it would probably end up going to waste and not wanting this to happen I asked my fellow campers if any one wanted it, all declined. Still not wanting to waste it I tossed the grill over the remains of the campfire, and placed the steak on it, the fire was at this point only smoldering coals, I believe the wood was from a long dead well seasoned apple tree. Maybe three quarters of an hour later I flipped the steak and continued breaking camp, about a half hour after that, my truck being all packed, I returned to the fire pit and retrieved the steak, still not being to hungry I offered it around again, all declined again so I decided to give it a go. OMFG the slow cooking over this well seasoned and aromatic wood made the most incredibly well flavored steak I have ever eaten in my life, no seasoning, no sauces, nothing, not even salt. It was amazing. Even though I was still not very hungry I greedily devoured this massive slab of charred flesh, in my haste I had even packed all of plates and was consuming this caveman style, barehanded and tearing off chunks with my teeth. It was so good that after it was gone, with grease still lingering in my moustache and on my chin and me even more not hungry, I wished for another.

I love steak and have tried a myriad of sauces and rubs on them, but nothing will ever compare to this one brilliant and epic culinary moment. This steak was truly orgasmic.

Granted few have time for this type of cooking all the time within modern society, so for daily cooking of steak I recommend grilling. Charcoal is nice but for convenience I prefer a gas grill. A smoker box placed within will give a nice smoky flavor to your food. If the weather does not permit me to grill I prefer the broiler to any other method.

So there's someone else who calls the finest food "orgasmic". People laugh at me for that.

[azezzo]

BBQ with charcoal is great but time consuming, i live in chicago and BBQ year round with my gas BBQ its hard to beat the ease of a gas grill in the winter time. any ways i love porter house, t- bones, rib-eyes, even good cuts of sirloin, i put a nice coating of montreal steak seasoning on them and cook to medium rare. While in the kitchen in a pan with real butter and minced garlic i add sliced mushrooms and onions, and cook until browned.

a side note, i know the gas grill isnt the real thing, but i never clean it, leave all the grease and fat from previous bbq's season the grill for flavor, on a new grill i will over cook sacrificial bacon and other fatty cuts of meat to speed the flavor process up.

[bspride]

definitely use charcoal...just gets a better flavor into the steak IMO. Season to your taste, I usually prefer Worcestershire, season all, and maybe a little lemon. And when you cook, close the lid and actually let it cook. Instead of constantly opening the lid and releasing the heat, keep it closed until you need to flip it, I find that the steak is better cooked this way. Experiment with it though, thats the way you find the best combo for your steak.

[neanderpaul14]

This steak was truly orgasmic.

So there's someone else who calls the finest food "orgasmic". People laugh at me for that.

Don't feel bad Jonsey, I to have been laughed at for this. Also I've said it before to my fellow construction workers and got scoffed at for weeks.

BTW my sister-in-laws homemade cream style corn is also orgasmic.

[Symmetry]

Just for the Americans out there- this site is offering a free sample pack of wood shavings for barbecue smoking. It's not completely free- they ask for you to pay postage, but I've used wood smoking in the past and had good results:

http://www.davidtinney.net/smoking-with-wood.html

[jonesthecurl]

This steak was truly orgasmic.

So there's someone else who calls the finest food "orgasmic". People laugh at me for that.

Don't feel bad Jonsey, I to have been laughed at for this. Also I've said it before to my fellow construction workers and got scoffed at for weeks.

BTW my sister-in-laws homemade cream style corn is also orgasmic.

Some years ago, a friend of mine who was a construction worker used to throw away his packed lundh everyday without opening it, 'cos his fellow-workers mocked him if they saw his sandwiches.

His wife insisted on cutting the sandwiches diagonally, when all the other guys had square sandwiches...

[Symmetry]

This steak was truly orgasmic.

So there's someone else who calls the finest food "orgasmic". People laugh at me for that.

Don't feel bad Jonsey, I to have been laughed at for this. Also I've said it before to my fellow construction workers and got scoffed at for weeks.

BTW my sister-in-laws homemade cream style corn is also orgasmic.

Some years ago, a friend of mine who was a construction worker used to throw away his packed lundh everyday without opening it, 'cos his fellow-workers mocked him if they saw his sandwiches.

His wife insisted on cutting the sandwiches diagonally, when all the other guys had square sandwiches...

Madness. Sandwiches taste better cut diagonally. That is a scientific FACT

[Supermarioluigi]

I get a cook to do it.


And they better make it good, or else.
OR ELSE.

[strike wolf]

This steak was truly orgasmic.

So there's someone else who calls the finest food "orgasmic". People laugh at me for that.

Don't feel bad Jonsey, I to have been laughed at for this. Also I've said it before to my fellow construction workers and got scoffed at for weeks.

BTW my sister-in-laws homemade cream style corn is also orgasmic.

I had a perfect rack of ribs once and yes I woul say that it was truly orgasmic.

[neanderpaul14]

This steak was truly orgasmic.

So there's someone else who calls the finest food "orgasmic". People laugh at me for that.

Don't feel bad Jonsey, I to have been laughed at for this. Also I've said it before to my fellow construction workers and got scoffed at for weeks.

BTW my sister-in-laws homemade cream style corn is also orgasmic.

Some years ago, a friend of mine who was a construction worker used to throw away his packed lundh everyday without opening it, 'cos his fellow-workers mocked him if they saw his sandwiches.

His wife insisted on cutting the sandwiches diagonally, when all the other guys had square sandwiches...

Madness. Sandwiches taste better cut diagonally. That is a scientific FACT

Very true. It has to do with proper control of the crust to bread ratio.

[e_i_pi]

There are several steps involved in getting your steak cooked properly.

First you must make sure you have a good sized steak, preferably about 7 inches in size, and of good thickness. Somewhere between two thumbs and three fingers is ideal, any more than that and you may have trouble fitting it in the oven. Meat that is too large and not thick enough will not be satisfying, and is only ever used when an oven isn't very hot.

Contrary to popular opinion, tough meat is actually better than soft meat. Tenderising is important though, as a good bout of tenderising can produce a lengthy piece of meat of prime quality. The meat should be hard and veined, with plenty of sinew. Flaccid or floppy meat simply won't do. It will not be considered juicy, succulent, or mouth-watering, and will leave the eater dissatisfied, and with an unwholesome taste in their mouth.

There are two primary ways you can cook your steak. The more conventional way is on top, without the use of oil - this will produce a steak with a nice crust. If the steak is sticking, you can apply some oil, or you can simply turn the heat up a little more to prise the steak from the surface.

The less conventional way is normally termed "browning the meat". It is a slow and often painful process, and can sometimes produce meat with a peculiar odour. This method was pioneered by ancient Greeks, and is a tried and true way of producing a steak of quality, though is difficult to master. You must turn the oven over, and insert the meat through the back of the oven. Normally the oven isn't interested in cooking in this manner, and sometimes the oven complains that it cannot accomodate a steak of that size. If this occurs, make sure you butter the buns really well, and cook slowly at first, to get the oven used to the process. After a while, the oven will succumb and produce some interesting sounds, after which you can cook at whatever speed you desire - the oven has no choice in the matter by this stage.

On occassion, the oven will then eat this gravy-coated steak itself, right after cooking. This is truly a delight, and should not be avoided, even though it does seem a little odd. The practice of oven-to-mouth is rare, and an honour.

Next lesson we will learn about cooking with the Cincinatti Hotplate

[SultanOfSurreal]

There are several steps involved in getting your steak cooked properly.

First you must make sure you have a good sized steak, preferably about 7 inches in size, and of good thickness. Somewhere between two thumbs and three fingers is ideal, any more than that and you may have trouble fitting it in the oven. Meat that is too large and not thick enough will not be satisfying, and is only ever used when an oven isn't very hot.

Contrary to popular opinion, tough meat is actually better than soft meat. Tenderising is important though, as a good bout of tenderising can produce a lengthy piece of meat of prime quality. The meat should be hard and veined, with plenty of sinew. Flaccid or floppy meat simply won't do. It will not be considered juicy, succulent, or mouth-watering, and will leave the eater dissatisfied, and with an unwholesome taste in their mouth.

There are two primary ways you can cook your steak. The more conventional way is on top, without the use of oil - this will produce a steak with a nice crust. If the steak is sticking, you can apply some oil, or you can simply turn the heat up a little more to prise the steak from the surface.

The less conventional way is normally termed "browning the meat". It is a slow and often painful process, and can sometimes produce meat with a peculiar odour. This method was pioneered by ancient Greeks, and is a tried and true way of producing a steak of quality, though is difficult to master. You must turn the oven over, and insert the meat through the back of the oven. Normally the oven isn't interested in cooking in this manner, and sometimes the oven complains that it cannot accomodate a steak of that size. If this occurs, make sure you butter the buns really well, and cook slowly at first, to get the oven used to the process. After a while, the oven will succumb and produce some interesting sounds, after which you can cook at whatever speed you desire - the oven has no choice in the matter by this stage.

On occassion, the oven will then eat this gravy-coated steak itself, right after cooking. This is truly a delight, and should not be avoided, even though it does seem a little odd. The practice of oven-to-mouth is rare, and an honour.

Next lesson we will learn about cooking with the Cincinatti Hotplate

they say comedy is the hardest thing to write, so you can take solace in that

i guess

[whitestazn88]

all about some ribeye, medium rare, grilled on charcoal.

[Symmetry]

Rib-eye is an awesome cut. I've got a mate who always picks the reddest cut of meat possible. He won't listen when I tell him that you want the fatty white stuff so that it doesn't get tough.

[ManBungalow]

Just get a Cook to do it while you take however few points they have left from them.