Need help with my bitch

[BigBallinStalin]

Time to take Ol Yeller 'round back...

[Ace Rimmer]

have sex with it. That always works

I'm not into dogs.

You've let the dog be the controller in the house. You alone can not stop this, it'll take everybody to be on the same page including your 3.75 children. If everybody can't get on the same page just get over it. A simple trick is to lay a single layer of newspaper on the cushions. They hate it and they will jump down ASAP. A very cheap way to keep things clean and teach them not to be there. Everybody in the house needs to be on the same page and not allow fido on the furniture.

It's impossible to get my 2yo to leave the blankets off the floor, trying to get him to put something on the couch when he gets down is impossible.

That being said.....

You do realize that after posting such a question on this forum only confirms your a pussy with a capital P that wears a skirt and you have absolutely no control over what is going on in your household.

My middle name is Emasculated.

Considering Jake's feelings, I'm almost afraid to ask what kind of dog.....

If it's a girly ankle bitter just don't answer Jake... FWIW

I have thick skin It's a 3yo black lab, like 50-60 lbs.

The problem is that most of what you are suggesting won't quite work. She KNOWS not to get on the furniture and only does it when we're not around, so it's pretty hard to watch over her and do positive reinforcement. She's no dummy, she gets down when she hears us coming, so we don't catch her most time, just know that she was there and see her guilty look. We've been keeping stuff on the furniture, but it's impossible to always have stuff there with kids that use the furniture.

On another note, don't you know that overpopulation is the underlying reason for many of the major problems we face as a species on this planet? Having 4 kids is irresponsible. In my most humble opinion, of course.

If I could take it back, I would, trust me. Same as getting the dog.

[bedub1]

some good advice here...some bad advice. My one piece of advice, there is a difference between beating your child and spanking it....Please don't beat your dog...but I heard that sometimes when they are strong willed and know their are doing evil but do it anyway....the only way to break that is with physical action.

[greenoaks]

The advice about not using the crate as punishment is good advise. So is the advice about everyone in the family needing to establish the same boundaries. Just calmly move the dog off the couch and tell it "No". Don't get excited or it will think you are playing. Reward the dog when it stays off the couch. It'll just take time.


On another note, don't you know that overpopulation is the underlying reason for many of the major problems we face as a species on this planet? Having 4 kids is irresponsible. In my most humble opinion, of course.

no, giving birth is not the problem

it is religions and other do-gooders removing the natural checks and balances that kept local populations down

[Preditor]

Jake, All you have to do is put the newspaper on the furniture when you are gone. You won't have to do this forever. Labs are very smart and will stop it all together in a short period of time. You just keep after it.

It only took a couple of times jumping up then off for mine to stop it all together.

[Commander62890]

My beagle would probably rip that newspaper to shreds

[Ace Rimmer]

Jake, All you have to do is put the newspaper on the furniture when you are gone. You won't have to do this forever. Labs are very smart and will stop it all together in a short period of time. You just keep after it.

It only took a couple of times jumping up then off for mine to stop it all together.

We've been putting stuff on the furniture for over a month. She pushes it out of the way. She's smart alright.

[BigBallinStalin]

Jake, All you have to do is put the newspaper on the furniture when you are gone. You won't have to do this forever. Labs are very smart and will stop it all together in a short period of time. You just keep after it.

It only took a couple of times jumping up then off for mine to stop it all together.

We've been putting stuff on the furniture for over a month. She pushes it out of the way. She's smart alright.

If she wants a cushion, lay one on the floor for her.

If she gets on the couch, increase the costs in doing so. I hear punishments by Bopping of the Nose work wonders. Even when y'all leave and she gets up there, when you return, she knows that you know she was up there (especially if you have evidence like thrown-up newspaper on the couches). So bop her on the nose.

keep that up, and she'll eventually stop... UNLESS you've inadvertently ingrained this habit into her and have failed to properly punish and reward the dog. At that point, it's going to take a long time to solve the issue (maybe never) because it's not the dog's fault, but the owner's.

[Preditor]

We've been putting stuff on the furniture for over a month. She pushes it out of the way. She's smart alright.

That's interesting....You know what makes me sad Jake?.... YOU DO!.... Maybe we should chug on over to mambe pambe land....where maybe we can find some self confidence for you.... ya jack wagon....

Tissue?.... "throwing tissue box at Jake".... muttering crybaby....

[Ace Rimmer]

keep that up, and she'll eventually stop... UNLESS you've inadvertently ingrained this habit into her and have failed to properly punish and reward the dog. At that point, it's going to take a long time to solve the issue (maybe never) because it's not the dog's fault, but the owner's.

We're not her first owners, and my wife is a bigger pansy than me, so yeah I think it's a losing battle at this point.

[Preditor]

It's not to late but everybody in the house needs to be on the same page. Wait until she has to try to clean that black lab hair off the furniture. That freaking hair has like barbs on it. It doesn't like to be easily removed.

[BigBallinStalin]

keep that up, and she'll eventually stop... UNLESS you've inadvertently ingrained this habit into her and have failed to properly punish and reward the dog. At that point, it's going to take a long time to solve the issue (maybe never) because it's not the dog's fault, but the owner's.

We're not her first owners, and my wife is a bigger pansy than me, so yeah I think it's a losing battle at this point.

Where's your AlabamaMan Morale? DRINK A BEER AND BEAT THAT DOG GOOD, BOY!!!

[TheProwler]

If jake's having trouble with a dog, what gonna happen when his children hit their teens?

[Ace Rimmer]

Update: We gave away the dog yesterday. Still counts as a win in my book.

[jay_a2j]

Update: We gave away the dog yesterday. Still counts as a win in my book.

It's a lose.

[TheProwler]

All three of my dogs sit on the furniture. We actually had to re-arrange our family room so we could fit in two sofas instead of just one.

Now my wife doesn't have to sit on the floor.

[Juan_Bottom]

Cut some cord and cover the couch in aluminum foil. Then plug the cord into the wall and attach it to the aluminum foil. The final step is to leave the room. Or abandon your dog out in the country. Your family will be super-pissed off about it.... until they meet the new puppy! Families love puppies.

[TheProwler]

Cut some cord and cover the couch in aluminum foil. Then plug the cord into the wall and attach it to the aluminum foil. The final step is to leave the room.

He was trying to train his dog, not burn the house down.

But if it's an insurance claim he's after, I won't say a word...

[AAFitz]

She insists on getting on the furniture (couch, loveseat, futon, chair) when we're not watching her. She knows she isn't supposed to and will never do it while we're around, but we have a family room and a living room and she'll go into the living room when we're not to get on the furniture there. We've been putting toys/etc on the furniture to keep her off, but she'll push them out of the way or just get on one when it's uncovered. With 3.75 kids it's pretty much impossible to always have the furniture covered, as there's usually somebody one one of the pieces. We can crate her when we're gone (which will be a pain in the ass in itself) but what other ideas do people have to keep her off the furniture? She knows she's not supposed to be up there, because she gets a guilty look and gets down when we get near her, but just won't stop.

I'm all for smacking her when we catch her, but my wife won't go for that.

Jake

make her think you are not watching but watch and wait for her to get on the furniture then yell at here like you can see her while she cant see you. It will make her think you are always watching/you can always see her. You could also give her a different kind of punishment when you catch her on the furniture like 30 minutes in her cage or 30 min outside.

Watching her is not gonna happen, my wife has her hands full with the kids, much less the stupid dog. Will the caging punishment work if we use it when we're not home, or will it confuse her? We don't want it to seem like punishing her when we put her in it when we leave.

Yeah, you don't want to use the crate as punishment. The crate is meant to serve as their "safe zone" and serves as their den, indoors. You want them to be perfectly comfortable in there, to the point of loving being in there.

Dogs really don't need to be hit to understand or learn, and they are so eager to please, that as long as they think you are mad, they are definitely not happy. Being stern is more than enough, but needs to be enforced regularly...no...religiously. Dogs will test you indefinitely, and at any sign of weakness, just like kids, will try your patience.

You could put her outside every time she jumps up, but again you may not necessarily want her to associate outside with a punishment, and if she wants to go out, she may very well learn that by jumping on the seat she gets a free ticket.

You could also get her a bed place of her own, which she would likely prefer in no time...well, maybe...

Good Luck!

[The Bison King]

How old is your dog? sometimes when a dog get's to a certain age they just stop giving a f*ck about the rules. They know what they're not supposed to do but they do it anyway because they are familier with the consequences and know that they're ok with it. I had an old old Border Collie who would do the same thing and get on the furniture. All we had to do was give her this WTF? look, and she would slowly get up and get off. Her body language saying "ugh, fine I'll get up, geez"

If it is an old dog just let it go, learn to live with it. She's old, she earned it, and'll be dead soon.

If it's a puppy beat it senseless. J/K

If it's an adult dog... well I'd also suggest learning to live with it. What are you worried about pet hair? It's just a little extra cleaning. Or are you some kind of materialistic prick who has a 2,000$ Italian Leather couch, that you can't bare seeing a beast upon.