The Dice Complainer

[shieldgenerator7]

Yeah, FT, natty is getting carried away with her "dice complainer theory" but overall I find it very funny. What a unique way to talk about people who have complained about the dice... I wonder when she'll put herself into a DC category?

[Funkyterrance]

Maybe she will shield . Well I suppose as long as some people are getting enjoyment out of this thread it can't be all bad. Hats off to you shield, the most even tempered player to ever enter the forums.

[Mr Changsha]

Superb thread...very nicely written too.

[Fruitcake]

I have always had terrible dice with the odd (but very infrequent) average to reasonably good rolls. My stats are still way off the curve in terms of averages. To this day I cannot imagine how it is that I manage to keep my rank.

[Funkyterrance]

Alas Mr.C and Fruit, your talents are wasted here.

[Mr Changsha]

Maybe she will shield . Well I suppose as long as some people are getting enjoyment out of this thread it can't be all bad. Hats off to you shield, the most even tempered player to ever enter the forums.

Natty is a girl? Do you mean to say that this whole time I've been slapping away at a chap's avatar it has actually been a woman all along?

The horror!!!

[Funkyterrance]

Well, evidence suggests.

[oVo]

There must be yet another group who seem to enjoy a good rogering
from the dice. Otherwise why would they bother dissolving a bulbous
fortification with a ridiculous assault? Another version of this group
is the player who reduces all his territories down to single armies
before spouting off... "DAMN DICE!"

The comic version of this method is the player who bombards a nation into
submission, then continues with the annihilation as if expecting that single
neutral to vanish while reducing their attack numbers to one.

Not sure how this masochistic dice bitching crew might be labelled.
Any suggestions.

[Timminz]

Hilarious!

[Timminz]

Also, this thread is superb.

Best dice thread in a long while, if not ever.

[natty dread]

Maybe she will shield . Well I suppose as long as some people are getting enjoyment out of this thread it can't be all bad. Hats off to you shield, the most even tempered player to ever enter the forums.

Natty is a girl? Do you mean to say that this whole time I've been slapping away at a chap's avatar it has actually been a woman all along?

The horror!!!

The horror? You think you're horrified? Try walking into GD one day and learning that you've been a woman all along! Now that's some serious identity crisis material right there!

Excuse me, I gotta head to the bathroom to fondle my boobies. Gotta take what you can get out of a sticky situation!

[natty dread]

There must be yet another group who seem to enjoy a good rogering
from the dice. Otherwise why would they bother dissolving a bulbous
fortification with a ridiculous assault? Another version of this group
is the player who reduces all his territories down to single armies
before spouting off... "DAMN DICE!"

The DCRC is aware of this yet unclassified strain of Dice Complainers. Unfortunately, we currently lack the funds to conduct a proper research into the matter. As a matter of fact, the DCRC is currently looking for new sponsors. If you are interested in becoming a sponsor, please leave a note on Serbia's wall, and we'll be in touch with you.

You can also donate money to the DCRC! We accept all major credit cards except for Visa, Amex or Mastercard. Or you can send cash by mail! The address can be found from Serbia's wall, page 6.

[Mr Changsha]

Maybe she will shield . Well I suppose as long as some people are getting enjoyment out of this thread it can't be all bad. Hats off to you shield, the most even tempered player to ever enter the forums.

Natty is a girl? Do you mean to say that this whole time I've been slapping away at a chap's avatar it has actually been a woman all along?

The horror!!!

The horror? You think you're horrified? Try walking into GD one day and learning that you've been a woman all along! Now that's some serious identity crisis material right there!

Excuse me, I gotta head to the bathroom to fondle my boobies. Gotta take what you can get out of a sticky situation!

Excellent. I can get back to whapping away at your cartoon horse without further ado.

You know terrance and 'that happy one' should be bloody ashamed of themselves. That's millions of my seed that didn't get spilled. I expect an apology forthwith.

[King_Herpes]

Put that wang away Chang!, enough with the baby making already.

[Super Nova]

Why do people complain about the dice so much when the real dice are bad too? People always complain about how unrealistic the dice are, and yet, after losing 12 troops to kill three guys, and having similar things happen throughout the game, I've got to say: The CC dice are pretty good. I'm curious to know how other people feel about the CC dice after playing an actual risk game.

[Funkyterrance]

Well I generally play CC in the nude which unfortunately is not possible with the people I play with in rl so in my case it's not really a fair comparison. All said and done, however I think that my dice are about the same on both.

[JBlombier]

All said and done, however I think that my dice are about the same on both.

The same? That doesn't sound very random...

[Funkyterrance]

Hehe. Let me clarify: They are about on par with each other.

[natty dread]

Why do people complain about the dice so much when the real dice are bad too?

Who said that? You there, in the back row? Stand up so we can hear you!

Yes, that's a very good question.

Now, the DCRC has been searching an answer to this age-old question for years. So far we haven't found a single conclusive theory to explain it, but there are some hypotheses:

- The Dice Complainer gets some kind of emotional reward from his behavior. Some argue that complaining stimulates the part of the Dice Complainer's brain that is also responsible for the Complainer's false sense of superiority wrt. other players.

- Some believe complaining to be a type of mating ritual. The male Complainer asserts his authority and sexual prowess to the female Complainer. The female Dice Complainer only allows the most vocal and obnoxious Complainers to mate. We are not sure what kind of evolutionary mechanism could lead to such bizarre mating habits.

- Yet others claim to see a correlation to a psychological condition known as "Army of GOD Syndrome". The Dice Complainer sees himself as inadequate, possibly due to his diminutive stature, and thus projects these feelings of inadequacy to the intensity cubes, colloquially known as "dice". The act of complaining could be a defense mechanism to shield the Complainer from massive psychological trauma.

However, there's yet no conclusive proof, and further research is needed. The DCRC is currently looking for funding, but apparently sponsors seem to have some hang-ups about contacting DCRC via Serbia's wall.

[shieldgenerator7]

The act of complaining could be a defense mechanism to Shield the Complainer from Massive Psychological Trauma.

How did you know my name was "Shield the Complainer" and that I'm from the town of "Massive Psychological Trauma"?

[BIGMEANIE]

Perhaps we can also start a thread regarding the different types of staunch dice-defenders out there. We can start with the "Arrogant Douche" and the "I Love the Smell of My Own Farts".

A massive amount of dice-complaint threads is annoying, sure (I'll admit I made one myself a while back), but so are those who feel the need to drop by every one of them and be a douche.

[King_Herpes]

[Funkyterrance]

BIGMEANIE

KH buddy, we don't need to see your prosthesis, our imagination is enough thx.

[King_Herpes]

Terrance, you little wood nymph you! Get over here tubby!!

[natty dread]

Here we can observe how the Dice Complainers flock to a thread they consider to be contrary to their cice-complaining agenda, and try to discount any evidence and research in said thread. We can only assume this is due to the highly territorial nature of the Dice Complainer.

One can draw many parallels in the complaining-behavior of Dice Complainers and religious fundamentalists. Indeed, it could be said that Complaining has become like a religion to the Dice Complainer. No matter what evidence is provided for the Dice Complainer, he refuses to consider it if it contradicts his views on the "dice". Of course, this is understandable, as the whole behavior of Complaining is a key aspect of being a DC, and we can only assume that the rest of the pack would shun the DC if he would ever give up his Complaining behavior.

We can also observe how the Pseudo-Complainer follows the Dice Complainers around and validates their every opinion. It is clear they have some kind of symbiotic relationship, only we are not entirely clear on the details... for example, we don't yet know exactly what the Pseudo-Complainer gets in return for defending the Dice Complainer's religion. We can only hypothesize that the Pseudo-Complainer gets an emotional reward from his own sense of self-righteousness. In his mind, he makes the Dice Complainers out to be persecuted victims, so he can feel like he is fighting a worthy cause when he steps in to defend the DC.

Further research is still needed. The DCRC is still looking for sponsors and donations.