nice post wacicha. i would say it is a great post but the massage is simple. common sense and education. i think most people should check their language and make sure common decency is applied.
i'm a mod (actually i was, now i'm retired but still hold the title) in a forum in my country. the forum is about hun and jokes. and basically things really get wild sometimes.
while some people have a certain degree of education and maturity and they realize they must use the same language as in real life, there are also users that think they can say anything just because they hide under a cool nick in the comfort of their home. internet can sometimes give you a false impression of power and some people use this power to release their frustrations and simply hurt others.
in ~2 years of being a mod i have given bans only for advertising or chain letters. you know the type that join a forum and post in 10-20 random threads an ad for some porn site or a chain letter that promises riches beyong your wildest dreams.
i've dealt with bullied kids that used the internet to become bullies themselves, or adults that were frustrated, sad or angry and used the forum to release some steam. i actually like to discuss people problems and try to help in any way that i can. it's just a matter of finding the right approach for each individual and connect with him/her. all of them either understod my point and left the forum or continued but changed their attitude.
on this forum i get lost of memories when i see some users and sometimes i get the urge to pm them and start a really long and hopefully successfull talk with them. the main problem here is the fact that there are almost no rules. spam is encouraged, trash talk bigotry and racism are considered cool, and the mods don't seem to do much about it.
i agree this is a much larger forum but still more things could be done in order to raise the level of decency around here. i'm not really disturbed about the flames forum for example because i simply ignore it but kids surely find it a real attraction and that's not normal. and if only the trash talking was kept inside flames, but i've seen it in many other places without any consequences for the repective users.
i don't know if i'm being very coherent, it's a long post, it's 5.57 am and my eyes are barely resisting the urge to take a break and go to sleep. te point is this forum (imho) needs a revamp (map making takes it'stoll

) it needs a clear rule system and mods that act accordingly.
the mods around seem nice but they don't really act like mods. especially in the spamming department. i don't know the whole story but why delete a spam topic when you've got mods that spam. why are people punished by somebody that has the same sins?
take care.
“In the beginning God said, the four-dimensional divergence of an antisymmetric, second rank tensor equals zero, and there was light, and it was good. And on the seventh day he rested.”- Michio Kaku