CC Dispatch [Issue 118] Apogee, Perigee, and Whac-a-Gee

[Dukasaur]

Welcome comrades to the 118th edition of the CC Dispatch!

The big story of the last two weeks has, of course, been the annual ritual of Whac-a-Mod. I can only speak for myself, but this is the first year that I've actually enjoyed it. In the past, we only had a choice of team games (which I don't really like) and speed games (which I don't really like.) This year, for the first time, the field was wide open to choose from the full panoply of game types, including 1v1 casual games, polymorphs, standards, terminators, and assassins.

The last week, for me, has been absolutely wild, as I started more than 70 games, most of them polymorphs. When combined with other games in progress, my total game load went up over 100 games for the first time since the summer of 2011, when I was laid off and had all the time in the world to play. So it was both exhausting and exhilarating to play that incredible, almost never-ending stream of turns. I almost never had an empty board in front of me. Still don't of course, since most of those games have not ended.

All that is nothing compared to the amazing feats of players like Keefie, who started 133 games, IcePack who set himself a goal of 250 and inexorably worked towards it, finally hitting his mark on the last day, and the absolutely staggering achievement of chemefreak who started an amazing 280 games!

Altogether 1766 Whac-a-Mod games were played, more than double the number that has been played in previous years (typically in the past there were between 600 and 800 games.) Half of those are still ongoing, so keep track of who is winning their games on the Whac-a-Mod scoreboard. No more games can be created, but we have until June 30th to finish existing games.

Anyway, I'm absolutely exhausted, but also totally exhilarated, by the wild ride of the last few days!

Now, on to the newsletter.

We have fewer sections than usual, but what we do have is all top notch! I would like to give special thanks to DaveH and his Tournament team: McShanester29, iAmCaffeine, and the newest addition to their team, jdean1. This is the most reliable of our news teams, and once again they have put together an absolutely astounding War Games section!

In the Mess Hall, we have two articles: one is the 9th installment of iAmCaffeine's Dispatch Trivia series, and the other is a special submission from Stealth99. Stealth is not a member of the Dispatch staff, but he had something that he very much wanted to share with our readers.

Our Interrogation, as promised, features TeeGee. In keeping with the long-standing tradition of naming Dispatch issues after a pun on the name of the Interrogation victim, I have named this one Apogee, Perigee, and Whac-a-Gee. TeeGee played 28 games in this year's Whac-a-Mod, and seems to have gotten Whacked quite a bit. As for the Apogee and Perigee? No connection whatsoever, except that I love rhyming games.


The monthly Challenge for June is entitled Mandela, a Retrospective and features games on the South Africa map with (as always) a tough combination of settings.

That's all until next time. Enjoy the fruits of our labour!


Use our convenient navigation buttons to get to your favourite section.

[DaveH]

Hello friends, and welcome to your favourite part of the Newsletter, "War Games", where you can find information about CC Tournaments, and other stuff in the Tournament scene!

In this bumper edition of War Games we continue to deliver our news staples with mcshanester29's Meet the Tournament Winners which features Gilligan. We have iAmCaffeine's May summary of Tournament Winners, my update of TPA happenings in TPA Wrap, and I have also updated last week's Tournament Tips with MrBenn's xml code for transferring tournament game data directly into Excel which is a fantastic tool for TO's!

I would also like to extend our warmest welcome to jdean1 who will be picking up the Join This? or Not! review of tournaments on offer. Welcome Dean

Good Reading and Good Luck!

DaveH
Tournament Executive

Meet the Tournament Winners: Gilligan by mcshanester29

Spoiler

1. Is it true you got your username from gilligan's island?

Abso-friggin-lutely. That show was my favorite growing up. I still enjoy watching the episodes.

2. Is there something weird, interesting, jaw dropping you would like to tell us about yourself?

Not particularly. A recent odd story of mine is that my French physics lab TA told me that I must like to suffer for majoring in physics.

3. What kind of tournaments do you like to play in?

I'll play in any type, really. I'm mainly a standard player but will join many team tournaments as well.

4. Favorite map/settings?

My favorite map has got to be Poison Rome. Favorite settings are escalating, chained, sunny...Though not necessarily with that map!



5. Do you remember the first tournament that you won? Did you almost lose bladder control?

...No idea. *goes to look*

Looks like it was The Seasons. It's ironic, too...I wasn't actually planning on joining it, I was just helping him to fix his mistake. He signed me up on an assumption

There were no tournament medals at that time...So probably not as exciting as you may think. I can't remember.

6. What has been the most memorable tournament win?

That's going to have to be Peter Gibbons' Initech XXV. It had quads, doubles, assassin, standard and terminator...I won 2 of the 5 disciplines, one with TheKidsTrumpet. It was a tough tournament and I was super happy that I was able to pull off #1.

7. Coke or Pepsi?

If I have to choose a soda, neither. Sprite. Although beer typically dominates my going-out beverage.

8. With the new medal tiers for Tournament organizing and Tournament wins do you see yourself winning more to add more to your impressive medal count?

It took me long enough to get to 30! I actually just won an autotournament Class of 2006 to make 31, but before that...my last win was apparently in August of last year.

9. What is your favorite kind of tournament to play in?

Anything with a backbone to it. Sure, simple bracket tournaments are fun, but tournaments with a theme behind it (NFL season, race to the Moon, etc) are always a bit more enticing.

10. What do you like most about the tournament scene?

Everything. Way back when, I was a TD and was super involved in the tournament scene and was totally obsessed. I burnt myself out working on the Hall of Fame since the activity in the forum was getting bigger and bigger, so it sort of turned me off. Shortly thereafter we got the automated Tournaments tab from Lack. Ever since then I've been more of a player than an organizer.

11. If you could change anything or add anything to tournaments what would it be?

Customizable autotournaments - maybe we can get a few organizers to set up some specific ones!

12. Anything you would like to add?

Keep doing what you are doing! You make Conquer Club a better place to be.

Tournament Winners Update: May '14 by iAmCaffeine

Spoiler

• SOS Africa Qualifier: Assassins in WWII Gazala won by santa.tank
• Elric's Polymorphic-Feudal Epic Trench Warfare won by Namliam
• PLAYERS CHOICE won by G0rgatr0n
• Hannibal's quick death Tournament-Classic won by Onagras
• Dark Tourney won by Fyrdraca
• The Ultra Mod won by Egel
• Many Lands XI The First 12 Player Battle won by overlander
• SOS Africa Qualifier: Assassins: Egypt: Upper Trench won by GreenBaize
• Avalanche in Randomness w/Poly won by TheCrown
• The Championships - Doubles Satellite 1 won by friendly1 and Treslie
• Superhero Doubles won by ElectrickShock and shaneback
• Jigs Age of Realms Assassin won by adam666
• polymorphic(2 slots) classic #1 won by braddersp
• DOODLE QUICKIE IX won by babagonosh
• Labyrinth LEAGUE November 2013 won by BENCLUB
• Circus Maximus Cup III won by Chewie1
• DKs CSFR series 02 - Olomouc won by BluU
• Route 66- 16 (Poly) won by MudPuppy
• Major League Feudal War Season 2 won by RKCVED
• KISS Dubs Chinese Checkers won by Wharfedale7 and artur1
• polymorphic(2 slots) king of the mt #1 won by simmons4
• MC's Your Kidding Me...Right? #6 won by greyrider, Gabriel13, Razorvich and TX AG 90
• Jamo's Classic won by templeyard
• Feudal War Cup V won by RKCVED
• The Random Map Duel 6 won by jghost7
• NASCAR 2012: The Chase won by The Pom
• Queen Bee 32/32 won by deanof7
• MC's Trenching Europe won by Glassyyy
• It's A Knockout!!! First Nations Americas won by Awoodness
• PLAYERS VS VOLUNTEERS won by andypl0nd0n
• WTB's 8th Trnch War - Jama 1 v 1 - V2 won by iAmCaffeine
• Jamo's Journey Across the USA Tournament won by slats789
• Arms Quads France 2.1 won by Dualta, Kexor, timmy1 and Doc_Brown
• Dub the Betas won by Swifte and VampireM
• Shannon's Beta Quads won by Denise, Kexor, betiko and ChrisPond
• FEUDAL QUICKIE won by superkeener

Players Who Performed Exceptionally (Wins)

• RKCVED (2)
• Kexor (2)

Congratulations to all that have won tournaments this month, thank you to all those who have organised tournaments, and good luck to all next month!

TPA Wrap by DaveH

Spoiler

TPA Season 2: State of Play

Click image to enlarge.

Just one tournament to complete: "A History of Europe" which was rescued by Swifte.

The running order is: Swifte (6,770 points), dowian2 (5,445), leehar (4,542), uckuki (3,575) and arno30 (3,492) in fifth spot.

TPA 2: Standings
The TPA2 spreadsheet will be finalised after the completion of the last tournament as we have now reached the spreadsheet limit of 400,000 cells, so I won't be able to list the remaining tournament results on that spreadsheet, just the scores.

TPA Season 3: State of Play

Click image to enlarge.

There are 36 completed tournaments and 5 yet to finish (with one completed tournament yet to be scored). No completed tournament since the last newsletter.

Tournament leaders (as per the previous issue): uckuki (8,088); benga (6,554); Swifte (5,949); Aussie02 (4,782); Gilligan (4,589).

TPA 3: Standings
Link to Individual Scores (The Google scoreboard has mot yet been updated with the latest results).

TPA Season 4: State of Play


There are 24 ongoing tournaments and 7 completed tournaments. None have finished since the previous newsletter:

In signups are NBA-CC Triples managed by our very own jdean1, with trelve teams following the NBA schedule. Clive brings us his Poker Bidding Tournament 2 which will accept as many players as want to join and is a follow-on from his Poker tournament of five years ago.

After seven tournaments uckukiis in first place on 3,000 with xmezx 2,656, benga 1,891 and Aussie02 1,833 following.

TPA 4: Standings

Join This? Or Not! by jdean1

Spoiler

Hello CC, I am new to the newsletter team and will be picking this section up for the time being. I may branch into other roles in the future as I continue my time with the Newsletter Team!

And now for our regular look at a selection of the tournaments in sign-ups!

Caffeine Rush 2! (Triples with a Twist) by iAmCaffeine
Are you ready for a witty name and a game with your friends? Join Caffeine Rush 2, which I am assuming is the point in the middle of the day where you need a second boost of caffeine. All jokes aside, this is sure to be a great tourney. Not only do you need to be great team player and dominate your triples games, you must also dominate other game types too! Get ready for triples, 1 v 1, poly2, poly 3, and a nice game load of destruction. Can you and two buddies win the second tournament in the series?

The Gunslinger: Reloaded by MrGlassB
If you are ready for a creative tournament that takes immense skill and a dash of gun-slinging luck, then this new tournament from MrGlassB, organizer of the Glacier Alley series and the Master Your Map mini-series, is for you! Not only must you win, but you need to win fast with precision. Winning in less rounds allows you to shoot faster than your opponent and stay alive in the Wild West. Centered around the map Dust Bowl and only one player able to survive, polish your six-shooter and Conquer (pun intended).

Feudal Empires: The Portal by Jak111
This is both a freemium and premium tourney, but being a freemium in this tourney has a perk. And if you are a freemium and want a chance to win the great perk of premium membership for a whole year, this tournament is for you. Jak111 is offering a grand prize of 12 months, I repeat ONE WHOLE YEAR, of premium to the top dog of the freemiums. This tourney spans numerous maps and game types, so you must be good at all Conquer Club has to offer.

These are my picks, but if you don't like any of these go to the Create/Join a Tournament forum or Tournaments Tab and take a look at the many others waiting to be filled.

If you're craving tourney action now, check out the Requests for Immediate Players section of the tournament forum. You can be playing very quickly after signing up as a reserve.

If you would like your tournament to be featured in the next edition of the CC Newsletter, please PM jdean1 with the details of your tournament.

Tournament Tips #54 by DaveH

Downloading tournament game data into Excel.

Following on from the "Tips" article in the previous newsletter, MrBenn revamped his xml code in order to download a summary of all the games in a single tournament. As TO's will realise, this opens up a whole new world of possible scoring systems and could be used to cut update times for their tournaments. Firstly, the code:

Code: Select all

    Sub Get_cc_tournament()

    Dim tourney As String
    Dim APIpath As String
    Dim xmlDoc As MSXML2.DOMDocument
    Dim xNode As MSXML2.IXMLDOMNode

    Dim gData()
    Dim pData()

    Dim pRange As Range
    Dim pStats As Range

    Dim headers(1 To 2)
    headers(1) = Array("Game No", "Tournament Label", "Map", "Players", "Game Type", "Round Limit", "Status")
    headers(2) = Array("Player Name", "Elim Order", "Kills", "Points", "Result", "Round")

    'Cells(nextRow, UBound(gData) + 1).Resize(UBound(pData, 1) - LBound(pData, 1) + 1, UBound(pData, 2) - LBound(pData, 2) + 1).Value = pData
    Col = UBound(headers(1)) - LBound(headers(1)) + 1
    Cells(1, 1).Resize(1, Col).Value = headers(1)
    Cells(1, Col + 1).Resize(1, UBound(headers(2)) - LBound(headers(2)) + 1).Value = headers(2)
    Col = Col + UBound(headers(2)) - LBound(headers(2)) + 1

    CurPage = 1
    nextRow = 2
        'Get tournament name from inputbox
        Deftourney = ActiveSheet.Name
        'Deftourney = "7 Man Madness!"
        tourney = InputBox("Please enter a Conquer Club Tournament Name:", , Deftourney)
        If tourney = "" Then Exit Sub
       
    Do
        APIpath = "http://www.conquerclub.com/api.php?mode=gamelist&to=" & tourney _
                    & "&names=Y&events=Y"
        If CurPage > 1 Then APIpath = APIpath & "&page=" & CurPage
       
        Set xmlDoc = New MSXML2.DOMDocument
       
        With xmlDoc
            'Load the xml from CC API
            .async = False
            .validateOnParse = False
            .Load (APIpath)
             
            'Get number of pages
            Set xNode = .FirstChild.selectSingleNode("page")
            With xNode
                l = InStr(.Text, " ")
                CurPage = CInt(Left(.Text, l))
                l = InStrRev(.Text, " ")
                MaxPage = CInt(Mid(.Text, l))
            End With
           
            'Get number of games in xml
            Set xNode = .FirstChild.selectSingleNode("games")
            MaxGames = xNode.Attributes.getNamedItem("total").Text
            FileGames = xNode.childNodes.Length
           
            For g = 0 To (FileGames - 1) Step 1
               
                With xNode.childNodes(g)
       
                    ReDim gData(1 To 7)
                    gData(1) = .selectSingleNode("game_number").Text
                    gData(1) = "=HYPERLINK(""http://www.conquerclub.com/game.php?game=" & _
                                        gData(1) & """,""" & gData(1) & """)"
                    gData(2) = .selectSingleNode("tournament").Text
                    gData(3) = .selectSingleNode("map").Text
                    gData(4) = .selectSingleNode("players").childNodes.Length
                    gData(5) = .selectSingleNode("game_type").Text
                    gData(6) = .selectSingleNode("round_limit").Text
                    gData(7) = .selectSingleNode("game_state").Text
                   
                   
                    Select Case gData(5) 'Game Type
                        Case "S"
                            gData(5) = "Standard"
                        Case "C"
                            gData(5) = "Terminator"
                        Case "A"
                            gData(5) = "Assassin"
                        Case "P"
                            gData(5) = "Polymorphic"
                        Case "D"
                            gData(5) = "Doubles"
                        Case "T"
                            gData(5) = "Triples"
                        Case "Q"
                            gData(5) = "Quads"
                        Case Else
                            'Unknown Game Type
                    End Select
                   
                    Select Case gData(7) 'game state (W)aiting, (A)ctive or (F)inished
                        Case "W"
                            gData(7) = "Waiting"
                        Case "A"
                            gData(7) = "Active"
                        Case "F"
                            gData(7) = "Finished"
                        Case Else
                            'Unknown Game State
                    End Select
                   
                   
                    'Range("A1:A" & UBound(GData)) = WorksheetFunction.Transpose(GData)
                    Range(Cells(nextRow, 1), Cells(nextRow, UBound(gData))) = gData
                    'nextRow = nextRow + 1
                       
                    ReDim pData(1 To gData(4), 0 To 5)
                    '(playerNo, (0=name, 1=Elim Order, 2=Kills, 3=Points, 4=Result, 5=Round) )
           
                    For p = 1 To gData(4)
                        With .selectSingleNode("players").childNodes(p - 1)
                            pData(p, 0) = .Text
                            pData(p, 4) = .Attributes.getNamedItem("state").nodeValue
                        End With 'Players
                        pData(p, 5) = .selectSingleNode("round").Text
                    Next p
                   
                    ko = 1
                    For e = 1 To .selectSingleNode("events").childNodes.Length
                        With .selectSingleNode("events").childNodes(e - 1)
                            'GameXML.childNodes(19).childNodes(e - 1)
                           
                            If Right(.Text, 7) = " points" Then
                                l = InStr(.Text, " ")
                                p = CInt(Left(.Text, l))
                                pData(p, 3) = pData(p, 3) + _
                                                 CInt(Replace(Replace(Replace( _
                                                      Mid(.Text, l, Len(.Text)), _
                                                      "loses", "-"), "gains", "+"), "points", ""))
                            ElseIf Right(.Text, 14) = " from the game" Then
                                l = InStr(.Text, " ")
                                p = CInt(Left(.Text, l))
                                If Not p = 0 Then 'not eliminated by neutral
                                    pData(p, 2) = pData(p, 2) + 1
                                End If
                                t = .Text
                                t = Mid(.Text, l, Len(.Text))
                                pData(CInt(Replace(Replace( _
                                            Mid(.Text, l, Len(.Text)), _
                                            "eliminated", ""), "from the game", "")) _
                                            , 1) = ko     ' pData(p,4) = Kill Order
                                ko = ko + 1
                               
                            End If
                        End With
                    Next e
                               
                    Cells(nextRow, UBound(gData) + 1).Resize(UBound(pData, 1) - LBound(pData, 1) + 1, UBound(pData, 2) - LBound(pData, 2) + 1).Value = pData
                    nextRow = nextRow + gData(4)
                   
                    With Rows(nextRow).EntireRow.Borders(xlEdgeTop)
                        .LineStyle = xlContinuous
                        .Weight = xlMedium
                        .ColorIndex = xlAutomatic
                    End With
                   
                End With 'Game(g) 'xNode.childNodes(g)
                   
            Next g
           
        End With 'xmlDoc

    CurPage = CurPage + 1
    Loop While CurPage <= MaxPage

    '#### All Game Data has now been imported (will error if too many rows for spreadsheet)
    Cells(1, Col + 1).Value = CStr(MaxGames) & " Games"

    Set pRange = Range(Cells(2, 8), Cells(nextRow - 1, 8))
    uPlayers = UniqueList(pRange)

    StatCol = 16   'Col P
    Set pStats = Range("P2:P" & CStr(UBound(uPlayers) + 2))

    Cells(1, StatCol).Value = "Player Name"
    pStats = WorksheetFunction.Transpose(uPlayers)

    Set pStats = pRange.Offset(0, 1)

    ' NEED TO ADD IN SOME STATS FORMULAE
    ' ALSO NEED TO CALCULATE WHICH ROUND AN ELIMINATION TOOK PLACE

    End Sub

    Function UniqueList(Optional ListRange As Range)

        If ListRange Is Nothing Then Set ListRange = Selection

        Dim List As Variant
        List = ListRange.Value
       
        With CreateObject("scripting.dictionary")
            For Each element In List
                If Not element = Empty Then c00 = .Item(element)
            Next
            UniqueList = .keys
        End With
           
    End Function

When you run this macro from an Excel page it asks for the tournament name must be entered exactly as on the tournament list. You then get the following summary of the tournament.

Click image to enlarge.

You have game number that is linked directly to the game; Tournament Name; Map; Number of Players; Game Type; Round Limit; Game Status; A list of the Players' Names; The Order of Elimination for each Player; Number of Kills for each Player; Points and Result; Final Round Number, with a summary of the total number of games.

From this summary you can link to other pages with macros designed to provide the data that your particular tournament requires - and this is something I will be writing about as soon as I get the opportunity for a large-scale and complex tournament!
Many thanks MrBenn and Very Well Done!

Use our convenient navigation buttons to get to your favourite section.

[Dukasaur]

The first thing you will notice is that safariguy5 is no longer with us as the editor of the Mess Hall. I'm doing the section myself for now, but if you think you've got what it takes to fill safari's big shoes, now would be the time to speak up.

We have two items in Mess Hall this time around. The first is a re-run of the 9th installment of Caffeine's Dispatch Trivia Contest. We didn't get very many entries, so we've decided to extend the deadline and publish the questions again.

The second item is rather unusual. It's a very moving human interest piece submitted to us by Stealth99, who has gone through a trying time lately and has a very emotional message of gratitude for his friends on CC. I'll say no more and let the article speak for itself. Thank you Stealth99 for sharing with us!

Dispatch Trivia - Round 9 of 10 by iAmCaffeine

Spoiler

We're into the penultimate round, good luck!

1. What does FCCFP stand for?
2. How many clans did not change position in the April 1st F400 update?
3. How many doubles tournaments were completed in March?
4. Who began the first official off-topics forum debate?
5. Which mapmaker produced Slovakia?
6. Who runs the renowned "It's A Knockout!!!" series of tournaments?
7. How did osujacket create his username?
8. How many territories does the Trench Warfare map have?
9. What is betiko's official position in the Dispatch?
10. How many cats does catnipdreams have?

Scoreboard after Round 8
#1 Ffraid (78)
#2 dakky21 (77)
#3 Hannibal 19 (28)
#4 Gilligan (17)
#5 macbone & anamainiacks (10)

Round 8 Answers
1. Great Conquer Community Map
2. 32
3. "I love this map, it's graphics draw you in like a warm, soft blanket that snugly wraps around you, and then suffocates you with massively simplistic gameplay."
4. The Egg and I.
5. isaiah40
6. [Issue 75: 11-07-2012] The Safari Zone
7. QuikSilver
8. InsomniaRed
9. 29
10. Breasts

Real Friends by Stealth99

Spoiler

Real Friends

I have been over-extended on my account for weeks and struggling to keep up. I was in 75 tourneys at one point and was now learning the hard way that many of them keep on going, particularly if you win. I was setting an alarm clock nightly now, to wake in time to avoid missed turns. Sometimes I would have to race to avoid the clock catching me from behind. I realized that my stress reliever had now become a stress contributor. So I decided by necessity and common sense, to cut my games back. At about the same time, my phone rang one day.....

My brother was calling to tell me my dad had a stroke. My parents were traveling to visit my brother and his family when this occurred. 10 km from destination the story gets a little fuzzy. My dad needed to relieve himself. He pulled over and walked some 300 yards to thick woods (possibly delusional at this point) and then my mom saw him go down. My mother is crippled and unable to assist. A rescue operation ensued. My dad had a massive hemorrhagic stroke. A significant brain bleed.

My wife came from work to assist with packing but could not travel with us due to her job and our pets and the short notice and urgency for me to get on the road now! My adult daughter would be traveling with me.

I was completely aware that my CC account was now going up in smoke. In fact I believe I could see the smoke coming from my laptop. I knew that my account was just 90 minutes from missed turns. Having such a large account means that when the missed turns start, they pile up quickly.

My wife delayed my departure, while she packed a lunch and helped my daughter pack. I took advantage of the extra time, to contact a couple of friends, Slaylark and conquerhero. I explained my dilemma and I asked them if they could take a couple of turns for me, with particular focus on tourneys in advanced levels. I provided my password and then fairly quickly hit the road.

We arrived at destination and we visited with my dad. Later in the evening, we checked into our hotel and we were very tired and emotionally drained. He was in critical condition and may not make it through the night. I decided to send a couple of e-mails and my daughter asked about my CC account she was following one of my tourneys.

I had difficulty figuring out what I was even looking ats when I logged into my CC account. My next turn was due in 22.5 hours. It truly took a couple of minutes for it to register with me on what had occurred. These guys would have had to have spent literally hours....EACH!

We were emotionally drained after the events of the day. This gesture of friendship from two very good CC friends quite literally overwhelmed both my daughter and I, for several minutes. It was an unexpected amazing way to end an otherwise terrible day. There was a pm from one of them advising me that I should go be with my dad and they would do whatever they had to for my account and I was told not to give it a minutes thought. Both these guys had very, very large accounts themselves. What they just took on required hours and hours of commitment.

When I was able to gather myself, I sent a pm to a bunch of my friends this time. They are: TrafalgarLaw01 cjtails bpt777 MrPinky. I also sent the request to my clan leadership, from the FALLEN. They were aad0906 IcePack and tbayjosh (if I forgot someone, I am truly very sorry).

I explained the situation to this group of friends and asked that if they had a half hour here or there to donate, to take a few turns in my account, to try and help Slaylark and conquerhero with the daunting task they had taken on. No commitment was sought and I did not wait around for replies.

My dad was so ill, and circumstances on the road were so difficult under these conditions, that I did not play my CC account for the first six days after my dad's stroke. I relied on it for comfort and strength from friends and I communicated with them on many occasions, often leaning on them to just vent.

My sitters inherited 220 games and despite ending many games daily, the game total actually increased in the beginning. While they were finishing games daily, they were also accepting all invites from the dozens of new games that were being generated daily, as the dozens of tourneys that I was playing, advanced to new levels. It was like trying to dig a hole in quicksand. You just don't ever get anywhere. During the six days, I have estimated that these guys took 1500 turns for me. They finished over 100 games.

When I resumed playing, I started to keep track of who was in my account helping as a sitter. I wanted to know who to thank and I wanted to have an idea of the type of effort that my friends made to help me. I am glad I did. It was touching. I quickly discovered that every single person that I contacted, took multiple turns for me.

One of the things that touched me the most, was the quality of the turns these guys took. They understood that I was playing competitive play and that some of these games had a lot riding on them (for example, two yellow stars that I had been working on, hit my account after these guys took over). They were NOT just trying to save me from having missed turns. They were trying to ensure that my CC account didn't skip a single beat! These sitters read the game chat, respected my many truces and on many occasions took the time to leave me notes in the game chat, about what they had done, in an effort to help me transition back to my account easier.

One dear friend, MrPinky, made a beeline for a tourney that he knew was important to me, one in the quarter-final stage. These games were all on the same map and he knew the map well so he 'cherry-picked' every one of those games so he could take these turns personally. One mistake on that city mogul map and it's instant game over. I advanced to the semi's and have my good friend to thank. There are so many more stories of significant efforts of genuine friendship that I could easily share. I have been truly touched by the CC community of friends that I have acquired.

One of the things that kept my daughter and I going during those first few days, was coming back to our hotel room in the evening and reading my pm's. There were so many people who sent me personal notes that touched us over and over again. We looked forward to reading my pm's, nightly. Thank you so much everyone who took the time.

We were at the hospital one day and my mom mentioned something about the help she was receiving from friends of hers. I mentioned that I had some online help from friends that really meant a lot to me and she replied, "No silly, I meant real friends". I chuckled silently thinking, "Yes mom, I am sure you did. And so did I! Despite never meeting either of them face-to-face, I can safely say that were very real to me when I needed a friend the most. Thanks again guys!

stealth99

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[Dukasaur]

Interrogation of TeeGee
TeeGee joined Conquer Club on November 11th, 2006. That makes him one of the senior statesmen of the Club. He's been a full-fledged Team CC volunteer since November of 2011, gradually accepting greater and greater levels of responsibility until finally becoming Chief Global moderator last September. That is the highest-ranking volunteer position on the site, responsible only to the admins. We decided it was high time that such an important person was put under the Dispatch microscope.

Spoiler

When TeeGee saw the list of questions, he said:

YIKES!!!!

Just how many kids and grand-kids do you actually have? Can you even count that high?

7 children and 1 grandchild. 7 comes after 9 doesn't it?


Your[sic] a legend? Who are you? Never heard of you. Course I don't get out much as before. What with the new guppies and all.

I'm a legend? I tried telling that to my wife, she hasn't stopped laughing


Do you think that was a question?

Probably the most difficult one in this list



Why did the chicken cross the road?

I heard that in fact the chicken was jogging on the spot and the Earth moved underneath her



Why TeeGee and not GeeTee?

TeeGee is actually my wifes and my initial T and G. I always put her first. TeeGee was our business name until 2008, and the name just sticks, many people call me TeeGee in RL


Were you in any clans before KoRT and if so, what happened?

My clan history starts early in CC,a small clan run by Capt. killroy, the clan basically dissipated. Then myself and 3Asefa started Skyforce, I left CC for a few months for personal reasons and when I came back Skyforce had collapsed. Some of the members formed a new clan AFoS, so I joined and stayed but then most of my friends left and I had just taken on the role of Head Global. I didn't have time for the clan. Then recently Masli, who I have been playing team games with for as long as I remember talked me into joining KoRT. I saw most of my old friends are there, so it was an obvious choice.


How many times a day are you whipped by josko?

Not as many as he would like


what's it like living upside down?

That is difficult to answer, as I have never been right side up. I am waiting for the Earth to stop spinning, I will be first off


You recently became a member of the best team on CC.... why are you not proudly displaying your purple?

In the words of Kermit the Frog.. It's not easy being green... But someone has to do it


When are you going to move back to Perth and come in from the darkside?

I would love to move back to Perth, but my wife will never go for it.. And I can't afford the maintenance bill.


Who would you like to forum ban the most... Blake, Wham or KA?

Haven't I banned them all already? Who are they, I never see them post.


Have you ever been warned about something you have done on CC?

Twill once sent me a PM asking me nicely not to feed a troll.. She left lots of messages on my wall, I think I still have about 20 pages of the spam left to delete (one day)


What have rainbows done to you in the past for you to hate them so much?

I'm old, it hurts my eyes to read them.. and when I was a child, I found the end of the rainbow..the wrong side,it had NO pot of gold


Who is your all time favourite West Coast Eagles player, and why?
Glen Jakovich, the way he kept Wayne Carey at bay and held up the defense for the teamwas unbelievable.
Steve Malaxos (Eagles First Captain) was one of my high school teachers.
Dean Kemp was also a classic to watch his antics behind the scenes when ever I went to a game.
But Jakovich's talent shines out.
I also almost had a head on collision with Peter Sumich who was driving on the wrong side of the road at an incredible speed, the bastard gave me a dirty look as he swerved around me.


Have you ever been to an A.F.L. Grand Final?

Never, and unless they change the ticketing, I doubt I will ever get a ticket.


If you could ban any member of CC with reason "just because", who would it be, and why?

nobody, I hate banning people from the site. But maybe all the admins and other team leaders then, I could be the supreme site dictator


If you could mod someone for just 1 day, who would it be, and why?

Hmm, that is a difficult one. There are a number of people I would like on the team, but not all would meet the approval of the admin team.


Do you think DemonFork not so secretly admires you?

He calls out for me constantly.. Do you think I should be concerned?


what makes you so wonderful?

I asked my wife, she is still rolling around hysterically on the floor from the first question


If a local restaurant was legally serving human flesh would you order some?

grilled or baked?


Did you feel that TG would be too overly simplistic? Maybe too short and even a little trite for a screen name?

TeeGee was my business name, we actually tried for tg, but the URL tg.com.au was taken, so I stretched it out.


Was TeeGee the natural follow up solution? A sort of Nineteen Eighty Four?

I think I just answered that


How do you feel about the new designated positions in Kort?

There are many many interesting positions. I am a little worried about the Chief pooper-scooper


Do you feel you can fully accomplish the needs that would be set upon you if we bestow Cow Milker to you?

You know that I will keep the udders firm but soft with daily massaging. itis what is needed to be done to guarantee continued supply of premium quality milk


Do you have any interest in the High Council of Kort? Thoughts or opinions?

I think I should leave the High Council to someone who can devote more time, I really can not commit to it with site moderation as well.


8 Regent Magistrates of Kort could be named, to govern over 3 timezones each for turn safety.

Would you support such an idea? Would you be a willing governor in Kort?

I think it is probably best left to more experienced clan members


If CC was turned into a star wars galactic Empire of a galaxy far far away, who do you feel Kort would most likely become in this alternate universe? Jedi or Sith?
Would you prefer Kort be neither? There are other options to consider. Being both hypothetical and fictional, you are not really limited in your response.

I think KoRT would be a combination of Vulcan and Klingon. Bright, factual, no nonsense, and fearsome warriors


One of the newest positions of Kort is the new Regulations Officer of Kort. He regulates the beef supply. Do you feel the regulator is given enough power to accomplish this job to give all cows optimal health?
In this scenario, our beef is maintained numerically, and fluctuates up and down at the end of every game. Some games cause cows to get fatter or thinner.
We feed in groups of 2-4 more often then not. Do you have any thoughts as to how we might better regulate our beef supply?
Do you feel there is any risk of our beef supply being contaminated, and if other members of cc might draw some sort of contagion?

Unfortunately the regulator also holds a volunteer position at random.org and after a few beers adds to many streaks to the pattern. we need to keep feeding as a herd, we will grow. And we removed those infected with Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (BSE), (commonly known as mad cow disease)


How do you feel about our security measures in preventing this thus far?

If we keep adding team CC members then we can only improve


Do you have a running total of the liters of chocolate milk vs milk that Kort supplies CC on an annual basis? Will the herd be duly compensated for our services?

What!!! That milk was for CC? I thought it was for my family


Upon entering Kort, all members become cows, and sometimes forget what existence was before being a cow. Do you have any significant memories before becoming a cow yourself? Was it a very a difficult life then, compared to now?

MOOOOOOOOOOOOO


Do you think we will ever play a Eurasia game together? If so, what do you think the settings will be?

Flat rate, chained, sunny and I guess it will be Game 14484777


Do you think you would be able to convince me to play a Eurasia game other than flat rate, sunny, chained? If so, how?

I will invite you to a random game and get blake to rig the outcome


If there was a CC map called Tg, what would be the total surface area of the map in km squared? What would be the location? Would it be small or large map, would you have a preference?

The map would be infinite in size, but have very limited territories.


Are my questions boring you? I have never been one to ramble endlessly, I think my questions are always quite pertinent in fact.

Some are confusing, some humorous, but none are boring.


Do you eat your hamburgers with ketchup or mustard?

ketchup has always puzzled me.. What is it? In Australia we eat burgers with BBQ sauce.. and bacon, pineapple, onion, egg, cheese and lettuce.


If you eat them with both, did you know a recent scientific study suggests this might be a sign of becoming a psychopath later in life?

Sometimes I have Mustard and BBQ sauce.. does that count?


How often do you spend sitting at the round table? Do you have a favourite spot?

I spend too much time at the round table, and of course I am at the top of it, no matter where I sit


As a kid, did you ever have troubles with the words Knights, and Nights? At what point did you realize that the K was silent and you were saying it wrong?

Since when has the K been silent????


Did you ever think that Gnight was word?

Gnever


How likely is it that you believe we will find another planet with life outside our solar system?

Have you met plurple yet? CC's resident alien.


If you have to choose between f*ck Leonel Messi or that Leonel Messi poops on you face what would you choose?

Who? googled it An Argentine footballer(soccer for us Aussies an Americans). Since I don't know him umm, he can poop on me when I am dead.


do you still really want this job? lol

In a few years they might let me out on good behaviour.


Are you tired of us cows yet?

MOOOOOOOOOOO never


(lol, he's not called "random" for nothing)

Do you wanna kill me yet, now that I've unleashed Random on you?

Haha.. No, I will keep you around and punish you severely.


Have you ever had an imaginary friend. Do you have one now?

I wish I did, I need someone to share my insanity with. Are you here? Are you my friend?


Do you dance to music like a crazy person when you think no one is looking?

I dance like a crazy person even when people are looking


Do you sing in the shower?

Even the shower would not help this voice


Have you met spleenfish yet and did he tell you anything we don't know about Fishydance? Can you tell?

My lips are sealed.


What changes would you most like to see on Conquer Club?

I would like to open the forums back up again, more like the old days. I would also like a faster resolution process to fix issues that arise between community members. I also have some other ideas, but these need to be discussed with admins and the rest of the team, so I can't really say too much right now.
And ban the rainbow colour scheme in chat


How has the office of Chief Global Mod evolved under your leadership?

We have softened the moderation significantly, I think it was needed and is important. We have had limited bans in the last 9 months, the lowest by far in CC's history. (As far back as I can see anyway).
I realise that while I have an opinion, mine isn't always the correct or best choice.
We have removed discussion moderators completely, bringing them into the community team.
I would ideally like to see a better relationship between Globals and the community, we are working on it.





Thank you TeeGee for taking the time to speak with us!

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[Dukasaur]

Actual publication date June 3rd, 2014 @0557.

[GioDuce]

I lack words on the article that Stealth99 wrote.

[Gilligan]

Another great issue! Speaking of losing bladder control, I had no idea I was in 5th place for TPA3....