Post-A-Joke

gavin_sidhu · Post by **gavin_sidhu** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 9:27 am

Saw it coming spring. Ronaldinho that was pathetic. Wca change poo to sh*t, sounds better.

There was a another thread like this and i posted my jokes there already.

Cheesemore · Post by **Cheesemore** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:15 pm

Your mama's so fat, when she stepped on a talking scale, it said "Sorry I don't do livestock"

dussle · Post by **dussle** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:22 pm

Yo mama's so fat, I swerved to aviod running into her and my car ran out of gas.

Scarus · Post by **Scarus** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:24 pm

My daughter emailed me this from college, (I'm a lawyer....)

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road. Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road.

As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"

The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road.

"I'll give you a lift."

The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road. Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him. At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road. Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud." Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors. When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."

The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

dussle · Post by **dussle** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:34 pm

That's a good one.

ZeoEmpire · Post by **ZeoEmpire** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 12:39 pm

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Sammy gags · Post by **Sammy gags** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 1:28 pm

lol, except 4 "Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo" "
& u 4got, Yo mama so ugly wen she went outside she got arrested 4 indecent exposure

ZeoEmpire · Post by **ZeoEmpire** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 1:29 pm

Sammy gags wrote:lol, except 4 "Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo" "
& u 4got, Yo mama so ugly wen she went outside she got arrested 4 indecent exposure

i be starting them later

Caleb the Cruel · Post by **Caleb the Cruel** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 1:43 pm

why hasn't there ever been a black president???

because it's called the WHITE house
(no offense, it's in the JOKE thread, so don't send me an angry pm)

slash1890 · Post by **slash1890** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 2:27 pm

How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

(Sorry if you're offended. We just may need a bit of variety in these jokes.)

Machiavelli · Post by **Machiavelli** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 4:31 pm

slash1890 wrote:How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?

Nail it's other hand to the floor.

(Sorry if you're offended. We just may need a bit of variety in these jokes.)

That's disgusting

Sammy gags · Post by **Sammy gags** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 4:40 pm

so is his avatar, looks like a fly-man

Caleb the Cruel · Post by **Caleb the Cruel** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 5:56 pm

he was just joking...

Funny Face · Post by **Funny Face** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:06 pm

Did you ever hear the one about the gynecologist who looked up an old girlfriend?

slash1890 · Post by **slash1890** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:45 pm

Believe you me, I know all of the good (sick) jokes. Would anyone care to hear more?

wcaclimbing · Post by **wcaclimbing** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 6:52 pm

hendy · Post by **hendy** » Sat Sep 09, 2006 8:32 pm

ZeoEmpire wrote:
P Gizzle wrote:
ZeoEmpire wrote:Home Alone With Michael Jackson

SEE, now that's funny....making fun of celebrities is funny
thank you

lmao

ZeoEmpire · Post by **ZeoEmpire** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 1:34 am

Yo mama so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo mama so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo mama so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies.

Yo mama so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo mama so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo mama so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo mama so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Wow, is it Halloween already?"

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints.

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo mama so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo mama so ugly they put her in dough and made monster cookies!

Yo mama so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo mama so ugly she looks out the window and gets arrested!

Yo mama so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo mama so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo mama so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo mama so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life

Yo mama so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween!

Yo mama so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday!

Yo mama so ugly if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects!

Yo mama so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo mama so ugly she made an onion cry!

Yo mama so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo mama so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo mama so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo mama so ugly we have to tie a steak around your neck so the dog will play with her!

Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo mama so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo mama so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.

jay_a2j · Post by **jay_a2j** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 2:11 am

P Gizzle wrote:we should always support our leader....even if we dont like him

Note: there is no use telling that to a liberal. They just don't get it. Their hatred for the nation is only overridden by their hatred for a president with an R by his name.

slash1890 · Post by **slash1890** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 3:10 am

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall?

Ripping it off again.

KoolBak · Post by **KoolBak** » Sun Sep 10, 2006 4:25 am

Dead baby jokes are just wrong....buuuuut....

Whats the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls? You cant use a pitchfork on bowling balls.......

OK...sorry.....Scarus, you started the lawyer jokes.....

A cruiseship full of vacationers goes down....everybody save for one person is eaten by sharks...the one person that makes it to shore alive is an attorney. Why didnt the sharks eat him? Professional courtesy.

Difference between a dead opossum on the road and a dead attorney on the road? Skid marks in front of the opossum.

Similarity between an attorney and a single sperm> Both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being.

Whats sad about a car with 7 attorneys in it going over a cliff? Car coulda held 8.

What do you call 500 dead attorneys at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

I can go on.......

pyro55 · Post by **pyro55** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 5:16 pm

wut is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker.........

pyro55 · Post by **pyro55** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 5:17 pm

......a hooker can clean her crack and sell it again

wcaclimbing · Post by **wcaclimbing** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 5:23 pm

KoolBak wrote: I can go on.......

please go on

Sammy gags · Post by **Sammy gags** » Mon Sep 11, 2006 5:54 pm

pyro55 wrote:......a hooker can clean her crack and sell it again

that made me gag

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