SEPTEMBER Smiley Challenge Joke Thread

[Razorvich]

SEPTEMBER SMILEY CHALLENGE
. JOKE THREAD .

Part of the SEPTEMBER CHALLENGE: http://www.conquerclub.com/forum/viewto ... d#p4850329

Smiley letters will be issued via PM, by Razorvich between the hours of 07:00 and 10:00 CC time DAILY

Joke Challenge closes: CC Time: 2016-09-30 23:59:59

PRIZES will be as voted by the Community Team

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TOP TEN BEST JOKES

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE WINNERS:
1st: MagnusGreeol
2nd: rizky_biznezz
3rd: loutil

[Razorvich]

reserved

[TeeGee]

So baby jokes are allowed?

Whats more fun than pegging a baby to a clothes line and spinning it round as fast as you can?

Spoiler

stopping it with an axe

[nietzsche]

reserved

[WingCmdr Ginkapo]

Why does Courtney always cox?

Spoiler

cause Lisa Kudrow

[rizky_biznezz]

What did the ocean say to the sand?

Spoiler

Nothing... it just waved

i have nothing sorry razor lol

[dakky21]

Q: Why do most Croatia fans book 2 seats to every Croat game?

Spoiler

A: One to sit in, the other to throw when the fighting starts.

[Dukasaur]

What do Yoko Ono and the Ethiopian tribesmen have in common?

Spoiler

They both live off of dead beetles.

[MSpitts24]

what do you get when you cross a bowel movement with cutting an onion? a dump that will bring a tear to your eye

[Keefie]

I always confuse Canadians and Americans.

Spoiler

I must stop using long words.

[takman2k]

I borrow a cat from my neighbors. Earned both their and the cats trust. Her name is Jasmine, however Ms. Hyde does fit sometimes. She comes in and meows, and i don't know why. Its a regular meow with a beat to it, no you cant dance to it, Dance Fever fans. I use couch pillows as a night stand and where i use my mouse from. She comes up, bumps my hand a couple times while I'm playing, then she SITS her butt directly on my arm. I don't know if that was used recently or not.

[LazyLiberal]

Why do women get their periods?

Spoiler

Because they fucking deserve it!

[paulownia74]

What do John Wayne and Jack Daniels have in common?

Spoiler

they both kill indians

[Mad777]

Everybody knows light travels faster than sound, and that is why some people appear quite bright

Spoiler

.....until you hear them talk.

[zipper66]

why can you not run thru a campsite? Because you pass tents its ran.

[BrutalBob]

A guy walked into a crowded bar, waving his pistol and yelled,

"I have a 45 calibre Colt with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who's been sleeping with my wife."

A voice from the back of the room called out,

"You need more ammo!”

[brsteelers74]

Why did the blonde get fired from the M and M factory? She kept throwing out the Ws

[Beast Of Burson]

What's the difference between Symmetry and a loaf of bread?

Spoiler

I'm never sending you to the store for bread!

[lokisgal]

long joke


Hillary and Bill Clinton and Al Gore are all killed in a car crash. Gore goes to heaven first and God says "who are you what did you do with your life?. Gore says" I was VP of the US" and God responds "Thats great! Come and sit by my right side". Bill goes next and God asks
"who are you what did you do with your life"? Bill says "I was president of the US" God responds "Thats great! Come and sit by my left side" Hillary goes last and God says "who are you what did you do with your life?" Hillary responds. "Im Hillary Clinton AND YOU ARE SITTING IN MY CHAIR!"

[Pochuco]

Peter, do you think I’m a bad mother?

My name is Paul.

[josko.ri]

A man comes home bringing a goat on his shoulder and meets his wife cooking dinner. He told: "Look what I need to f*ck when you are tired". The wife replied: "My love, but I am never tired for you" and he replied again: "I didn't speak to you"

[Man from Modesto]

What did the atheist dyslexic insomniac do?

A: He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog.

[Melkor52]

Hillery Clinton wins the election and moves into the white house. The first night she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks, "What do I need to do to be a great president?" "Always tell the truth" he responds. "Oh I don't think I can do that" she says. The second night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears. "What do I need to do to become a great leader she asks." "Always listen to the people" he tells her. "Hummm, I don't really like the sound of that" she admits. On the third night the ghost of Abraham Lincoln manifests. She asks, "What do I need to do to make America Great?" He replies, "Go to the theater".

[riverj]

It was early September around sunset on a Saturday night and this Irishman
walks out of a pub... No, really. It could happen.

[Charle]

The redneck couple got divorced, but she said they could still be cousins!